I am so sorry for your loss. I am here if you ever need to talk. I feel the same when it comes to Esther my partner of 7 1/2 years. I still dream of her and think of her every day. Things will get better though. For some, faster than others. Im sorry for your loss.
Bernadette, I am so sorry for your loss. You are what we refer to as in raw grief. As time passes it gets easier to tolerate but you need to give yourself time to go through the emotions grief instills upon you. There are no books to follow and everyone grieves in different ways. It truly is a baby step process so take your time. It is 4 years for me and I still can cry when I hear our song, see, smell or taste something I know he would have enjoyed or possibly dislike. His memory is all around me because I carry him so close in my heart. He was a part of my life for over 25 years. My life now has become about me, adjusting to this new life I did not ask for. How do you reinvent oneself when you spent a lifetime together? One small baby step at a time, so please take your time! Come here often, we pass no judgments and offer our own life experiences to help you feel normal, to ensure you you are not going crazy, and it is all a part of the grieving process. Hugs, Jane P.