Bernie -

Just a few lines to let you know i'm thinking of you.. Are you ok? Please don't work too hard - it's not worth it.. Did you get my last message w/e-mail/physical addesss?

I do very little cooking.. I eat quick things and thats been it.. Once in awhile i'll cook something that will last a couple of days..

I bought this box stuff and I really like it.. It takes about 5 minutes to put it together then in the oven for about 35 minutes.. Its chicken and bisquit and it made by "Banquet" Homestyle Bakes <---- Says on the box.. Real easy too. Wal Mart sells it for $3.00.

You are in my prayers Bernie.. God bless you..

Hi Bernie -

I got tears just reading about the overwhelming stress and work you are trying to do and trying to keep up with.. And yes - it is over whelming. What a great job tho of getting the cellar and all that stuff cleaned up :) Great job Bernie - high 5 - o/ with hugs and lots of pats on the back from me too :)

I stopped working a year before my husband passed away so once I turned 62 in March of 2008 I started collecting Sosial Security.. I am VERY happy that I did this Bernie even tho the money coming in is not as much.. I don't know if you are at the age where you can do this yet Bernie or maybe you can semi retire? Work less hours and still manage with expenses for self and the home? To tell you the truth Bernie the way I feel sometimes I can't imagine going to work each day.. I'm just wondering and hoping the above can be a option for you.. I don't know but I see you are having a hard time with it all and i'm so sorry.. Too much work and stress is also not good for you physically but i'm sure you know this..

As for remembering your husbands words about going out for pizza etc.. STILL listen and hear him Bernie because his presence is actually with you.. I see and think/hear little things like this with my husband and I actually say a few words back such as "good idea Hon - thats what i'll do.. This helps me too because I feel there is still that communication a little bit with him.. (in a sence if you know what I mean) It helps me a lot so still listen and hear what he would say at certain moments..

As for your new friend Bernie!!!! This is awesome and you are sooooo right - God is soooo good.. Our Lord has sent that friend your way to help you.. This is a blessing.. And Bernie please talk to this friend about doing the lawn for you.. I told you one time that my knees have been bothing me and I KNOW it's from mowing and weed wacking.. Some people find mowing to be relaxing, their private time away from everyone and they enjoy this.. Personally - I hate it and i'm causing more and more damage to myself by doing this..

Well, 2 LARGE limbs came down from a HUGE willow tree in my yard. I talked to my neighbor about this and he offered to come saw it up and take it to the prush pile. (he has a tractor w/the bucket to haul it out of the yard) He did that the very day after I talked to him on the phone but I wasn't home while he was here. I came home and found it all cleaned up.. What a blessing I tell ya.. I called him the following day to thank him and wanted to pay him something - he refused money so I made dinner and took to him but while I was talking to him on the phone I told him how the lawn work is too much/over whelming/causing damage etc. to me. Bernie - he said he will come do the lawn for me - I told him I will pay him what I can. He knows i'm only receiving SS.. He came today and did the whole yard for me and would not take ANY money from me.. That is a blessing - and this is also from the Lord Bernie.. I of course provide the mower and the gas but he wouldn't take anything so again I sent dinner home with him.. I just think it won't hurt if you talk to this new friend that you have Bernie about doing that mowing for you.. Remember Bernie - its just for the summer, its not an all year round job you are asking him to do. The worse he can say is no.. After I hung up from talking to my neighbor (John) I just cried like a baby to the Lord and thanked and praised Him for this.. I was SOOOO relieved just to know I didn't have to do this darn work.. I like you - hurt all over after getting off that mower.. We serve an awesome God and He will watch out for us.. Please for your sake ask your neighbor.

I think the crying will go in streaks like that Bernie - it has been like that for me too.. The Friday before Mothers Day it started and lasted about a week and a couple more days.. I kept thinking my gosh i've got to stop this, I can't keep crying like this.. My kids invited me for some fancy dinner for mothers day - i told them no - i just am not ready to celebrate any days yet.. I was home alone and exausted on mothers day but this is where the best place was for me and where i wanted to be.. I told the kids I don't even know how I'm going to be when Christmas comes either just so they have a heads up.. Just can't celebrate holidays yet if you know what I mean.. My crying has stopped for now and God olny knows when it will begin again. It will be the same for you too probably Bernie but this stressful job you have plus that over whelming yard work is adding to you grief.. Cut back hopefully to my suggestions if AT ALL POSSIBLE.. Listen and remember Eds words and even say the few words back to him that you would have normally said.. And go out and get that pizza for yourself.. Begin buying the foods that you like.. Maybe there are things you didn't buy because Ed didn't like them but you do? Buy those things for you now.. I do that and I can picture my husband smiling and happy for me.. It helps me a lot.. I have my husbands picture on the wall right here by the computer and I smile at him and just know he is in heaven to never have to suffer again and deal with what this lifes rough road may offer. Yet his presence is with me where ever I am.. Eds presence is with you too Bernie :) He really is....

Bernie - did you mean you'd like my physially address and my e-mail address? I live in upstate New York.. I think you are saying you live in one of the New England States? Do you have children and grandchildren? My real name is Annie but I never use my real name on the computer.. Theres so much bad that goes on that I just don't trust putting info online about myself or my family if you know what I mean..

Anyway heres my name, address and e-mail address for you Bernie.

Ann J Olmstead
1280 State Hwy 220
McDonough, New York 13801

Jennifer_Rose_1@hotmail.com

God bless you Bernie.. I think of you often.. I'm so glad you have a kitty but so sorry about the dogs passing.. They are sooo loyal and true friends to us.. I just love animals :)

Blessings and hugs to you..

~Annie~

Hi Bernie -

I've been thinking about you and wondering if you have checked out "Operation Christmas Child" via "Samaritans Purse"..

I have started getting some boxes together and its been very rewarding to me as I'm doing this.. It also helps a LOt to have my mind on something more positive.. I know its something my husband would be happy about too :)

I've just been thinking about you Bernie and wanted you to know.. Take care and God bless..

Hi Bernie -

I am happy to hear that you know of Samaritans Purse. As I read some of the messages you wrote on Legacy Connect, I see you as loving the Lord and being a born again christian. I am a christian and my husband was too.. Knowing that he knew Jesus as savior is what gives me the peace that I do have. I guess I can say I am sad, my heart it will ache until we meet again but I can also say It is well with my soul..

I understand why you question what to do with your husbands tools, camera equipment etc.. I don't know yet what to do with my husbands things either so for now they seem to stay right where they were left the day he went Home to be with our Lord. His laundry that I washed is even still folded in the laundry room.. I guess I should do something about that.. LOL.. Don't get me wrong - I am a neat housekeeper.. LOL.. But the yard work Bernie - Its so overwhelming for me.. It's my knees that are bothing. Not just when I'm actually mowing or weed wacking , it's every day and I know its from that type of work. Money is not all that plentifull either being I only receive Social Security. I thought of asking my neighbor up the road if he would do this mowing and certain parts of the weed wacking and I will pay what I can but I don't know if he will do this being he has his own place to keep up with.. I hate asking for anything - I want to be able to be independant in all areas if you know what I mean. If you would please pray about this i'd sure appreciate it Bernie..

I have not heard of Shelter Rock but what amazing outreach work S Purse does.. Its a genuine love from the Lord. I find it difficult to trust some of these so called christian organizations but I trust S Purse - this is why I chose to work on shoe boxes for these "Operation Christmas Children" Some little children don't have 1 toy, not even a pair of shoes.. Its amazing the nice little things that I purchase in the Dollar Store to go into my boxes.. I bought a little blue t-shirt in the dollar store. This will go into a box for a little boy between the ages of 6 and 9 :) In the Family Dollar I bought 2 little pairs of sneakers for $2.10 each.. 2 little girls so far between the ages of 2 and 4 will now have shoes for their tiny feet. I find this so joyful/rewarding and i'm just getting started..

Take care Bernie and thank you for writing. I enjoy so much hearing from you and seeing that your interests are similar to mine.. Have a happy and blessed day..