Posted on March 4, 2010 at 11:30am
The third anniversary of loosing my oldest daughter...and I still don't know if I am doing things right. Just thought I would share a poem I wrote for anyone dealing with the same...
Today is an un-birthday
It is not a day of joy
Full of gifts and toys
It is not full of smiles
Or cards sent over the miles
It’s not a day of dreams
Birthday cards or ice cream
Today is an un-birthday
It’s a day full of tears
Full of pain and mascara… Continue
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Hello Amy, my heart goes out to you and your family. I will most certainly keep you in my prayers..praying for a favorable outcome. Stay strong.
Just read your post this morning. I too had breast cancer and will help walk you through the next few months. I am a year and a half cancer free so there is huge hope for good treatments and a long and healthy life. It is just terrifying at the moment to have this diagnosis. Try to rest, and read up on everything you can on breast cancer. Nowadays this can be cured and you will be fine. My hugs to you today.
I work on my faith. I have seen signs, but nothing matters anymore until I get to be with my son again. He got so cheated in this life. I know he wanted to marry someday and be a day.
Now everyday is the same. Waiting to go to bed to do it all over again. No happiness or joy. I feel any future joy will always be tained and bittersweet. I will spend the rest of my life trying to do my best to "live" as Chad would want us all to do. His smile was brilliant and he smiled often. His athletic ability was special but it did not define him. His heart did that.
I am sure it is the same with your oh so special Brandi. I understand and I wish I could do more than say I know the heartache is relentless. And I am scared because when I see people like yourself three years down the road, I don't want to walk that road. But I have no choice. My son was so worth any pain I have to endure. He was so worth it. I love him today and always, and I carry him with me wherever I go. I just want him back and my old family back. I know that's not possible, but that's where I am at six months from the last time I was graced with my son smiling, sharing his day, asking for advice, and just being a kid with the whole world ahead of him.
Thanks for listening.
Lisa (Chad's Mom)