YOU ARE NOT ALONG I ALSO SEEN MY SON IN PAIN COULDNT SLEEP,IS FRIEND WAS KILLED IN A CAR WRECK AT THE AGE OF 19 AND MY SON WAS WITH HIM HE JUST I BELIEVE BLAMED HISSELF BECAUSE HIS FRIEND WAS TAKING HIM HOME. AND YES NOW WE MISS THEM SO THEY ARE NOT IN PAIN ANYMORE. I JUST WISH I HAD SUPORRT FROM MY FAMILY TO TALK ABOUT HIM HE IS WITH THE LORD ,BUT WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART FOREVER AS YOURS WILL. JUSTINS MOM PAM
Hello Pam, thankyou for thinking of me. Yesterday was 6 months from the date we lost my son. The phone rang at 2:00 in the morning unidentified. We were dead asleep and I have been sick so I didnt answer but noone left a message. I've asked everyone I can think of if they called and they all have said no it wasnt them. My brother passed away Jan 11 2004 but it hadnt hit me till now that it was 6 months from the day my son passed. Monday his twin brother and my ex-husband went to a family counselor to open the docs from DC and have the counselor present. The cause was as we expected but are not content with the findings. His brother wants to persue it further and I told him I would support him all the way. I told it would be better to open it now then to regret later that he didnt. I hope your doing ok. I've kind of been staying away the grief supports on legacy as I found myself in tears to often and felt maybe it was not so healing for me. I rally liked the counselor Monday but the cost is out of pocket of which I can't bear. Like I told the counselor I'm probably suppressing a lot of my feelings and they're surfacing in my dreams but more like nightmares. They're not every night and I had problems in the past with nightmares. But I'm still trying to get back on track. Well I know that one night you couldnt sleep I hope thats better now. Take care and write if you need. It will go to my email
Bunny, i hope your getting by I know how painful it is. my heart goes out to you. have you heard any more about your son? You be strong and just no Jesus called our presios boys home. take care and no there is someone that nos your pain. Justins mom forever
Pam I understand your pain. What help are you getting?
Does your husband understand your pain. You said you had 3 kids how are they getting thru this? We're all different, for those of us who have never lost someone it maybe harder then others. Being a mother well make harder then for others. My 11 year old grandson lost his bird today and he's taking it really hard. He took it hard when my son his uncle passed away. My youngest who is going on 17 has lost two grandparents, one aunt, one uncle, and now a brother. He never lets me see him cry but I now he's witnessed a lot for his age but not as much as some. I will email you on your personal email at another time but all of us mothers are here for now. Together we will hold each other up. What works for me is when I'm reminded of him and start slipping I tell myself its his spirit reaching out to me. Just knowing its present helps me to recover from my sadness. We wnet to the military museum yesterday and just the sight of the uniforms made me weep. A little old lady who worked there reminded me of my Aunt who passed the same month my son did. I took a picture of her as while it hurt it also felt good feeling my aunts presence. I hope you understand what I mean. When my son was down I tell him. Go take a shower, wash your hair brush your teeth and get dressed. Make sure you get out each day and find a reason to laugh. I firmly believed that was good medicine. The day after he passed we went to a chinese restaurant and the fortune cookie said. Laughter is the best medicine. I held on to that fortune and at the military memorial it seemed the most befitting token to place in his ammo box. I try to practice what I preached but I assure you I have my days I would scare some away with not getting dressed or brushing my hair. I will spare you the rest TMI
So see I'm up and down. And I'm intimidated by those who feel I have greived to long or to hard. I don't let those people see me cry. I will not be robbed of my love.
Take care and you CAN look forward to me being here
Bunny i'm having such a hard time tonight,when it hits it hits. i miss him so much i can't stand it if i just could of been me and not my baby i look at his pictures and i just cant believe they will always be the same never another one of him older it justs stoped at 31 oh how my heart breaks no mom should ever go through this it seem like my life has gone out of me i try so hard i never in a million years thought i would loose one of my 3 kids they are all i ever lived for i needed them all until i was gone not before me,why i needed him i guess the lord knows more than me and your not suppose to question but the pain is so bad will we ever live again are just exsist thats all i feel like i'm doing. i'm sorry i just here with my husband asleep no one to talk to and feel like my heart is jumping out of my body i needed him. im so sorry i so upset like all of us mom i just hope yall are better its been a year and almost two month,why why i needed to be with him he always wanted me and i wasnt there when he needed me the most. oh justin you no mom loves you and forever you will live on i have to tell the twins about you and cloey and jimmy his other children will too. bunny i am sorry my heart goes out to you and all the moms that dont want to be on here for this reason. justins mom always and forever. take care care over the holidays just lets try to be strong i hope you do good. thinking of you and family
Dearest Bunny, I KNOW HOW YOU CAN TRY AND GET YOUR BABY HELP BECAUSE I TIRED ALOT,BUT THEY GET HELP THRY TOLD ME UNTIL THEY ARE READY FOR IT AND THEY HAVE TO ASK FOR IT NOT THE PARENT. YES IT IS IT HIS HARD, THEY ARE OUR BABYS NO MATTER WHAT AGE MY BABY WAS 31, I REMEMBER THE DAY HE WAS BORN, WHAT A BLESSING THE DAYS I TOOK HIM TO BALL PRACTICE THE MANY FRIENDS IN MY YARD PLAYING ,THE MANY JOKES HE TOLD HOW HE LOVED HIS FAMILY AND WE LOVED HIM SO MUCH, YES I WOULD GET UPSET AND HIM WITH ME BUT AE NEVER STAYED MAD HE WAS MT BUDDY I UNDERSTOOD HIM AND HE UNDRSTOOD ME I FELLMY BABY WAS SICK HE FOUGHT MANY BATTELS EVERYONE WANTED TOGIVE ON HIM I NEVER DID I DOULDNT WOULD I GIVE UP ON HIM IF HE HAD CANCER THRERE WAS NO DIFFERCE,HE NEEDED ME AND I NEEDED HIM. BUNNY I KNOW YOUR HEART HIS BROKEN AND NOW YOUR JUST ON AUTO PILOT YOUR DAYS ARE UNREAL,YOU JUST CANT BELIVE IT. BUT WE HAVE TO KEEP GOING AND KEEP THEM SPECIAL IN OUR HEARTS THATS WHAT WE HAVE AND KNOW ONE CAN TAKE IT AWAY. PLEASE BE STRONG AND IF YOU NEED ME PLEASE E-MAIL ME AT email@example.com are just write me here. just no all of us mom are in this club we dnt want to be in,but we are i never thout i would but here i am. WE JUST HAVE TO BELIVE OUR BABYS ARE IN NO MORE PAIN NO SUFFERING,AND THEY WILL HAVE TRERE ARMS OPEN WHEN ITS OUR TIME TO GO. OH HOW IT HURTS,BUT PLEASE TRY AND GET UP EVERYDAY AND WHEN THE TEARS COMES LET THEM OUT YOU KNOE WE CANT STOP THAT AND WE DONT KNOW WHEN ITS GOING TO HIT. PLEASE TAKE CARE BE STRONG AS POSSSIBLE AND KNOW YOUR NOT ALONE. JUSTINS MOM PAM
BUNNY SORRY TOO HERE OF YOUR SON,YES THEY ARE PRESIOUS AND SO MISSED, BUT I ONLY CAN REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES AND THERE WERE ALOT. YES HE HAD PROBLEMS BUT THEY ARE FORGIVEN ONLY GOOD MEMORIES. YOU CELEBRATE HIS BIRTHDAY HE WAS SICK HE IS STILL YOUR SON SEND SOME BALLONS UP AND RELEASE THEM I PROMISE IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. YOU HANG IN THERE HAS HARD AS IT IS AND I HOPE I DIDNT OFFEND YOU IN ANYWAY BUT REMEMBER ALL THE GOOD LET THE OTHER GO YOU WILL FEEL BETTER. GOD BLESS YOU I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. JUSTINS MOM ALWAYS
Thank you so much. I can see why your son purchased you a number 1 mom chain because your spirit have definitely embraced me with a motherly hug. My mother have not yet reached out to me in two months but i learned to live with her neglect but it get frustrating since she is a nurse and she helps everyone else but for some reason she don't like her own children. When i am up she somehow brings me down so i know in my heart it is time to let her go and free her from being a mother so i can heal from the death of losing my brother. My brother loved my mother dearly but she never gave him any attention. She did not make it to his graduation and i can imagine some of the pain he went through on earth. Everytime i see how she treats me i really get sad because i hear and feel my brother's cry. You have definitietly made me smile with a tear stuck in the corner of my right eye.
I am doing better. I am learning to praise my brother for his accomplishments and honor everything he taught me. I have basically taken his son in my household because his mother is not much as fit like my own. I get the joy of seeing our boys together and we laugh and talk about my brother. It is hard trying to grieve and take care of little ones but i stay positive and believe one day i am going to look at them boys and say i raised them.
I will continue to keep all of us in prayers. Thanks for reaching out to me.