My birthday was the pitts too and Brent's is on May 2 and I am dreading it. My mom is like a shell of what she was. Grief is the worst...I pray that you have peace Glenda. I am so sorry about your brother. You have to honor that part of you that hurts so badly...hold her hand.
To be honest, I haven't coped well with the identity thing. I feel like 1/2 of me is gone. I've never spent a birthday alone nor do I want to start. I took off on my birthday. It would just be too hard to be at work that day. I told the office I prefer not to celebrate. My brother and I always waited until we could be together before we celebrated. In fact, our birthday was the last time I got to talk him. He was coming up on the Tuesday after Memorial Day weekend but there was a canoing accident and he was missing for 3 days before they found him 6 miles down river. My world fell apart when the game warden called saying they had found his body. Every night I lay my head down, I think of him being in the river those days. I get a sick feeling when I think about it. Just know that there are plenty of us out there that you can talk to. We have to cope each in our own way. There is no right or wrong. It's all about the heart and my heart hurts when I think of him. We can pray for one another because only God can heal a broken heart.
To be honest, I haven't coped well with the identity thing. I feel like 1/2 of me is gone. I've never spent a birthday alone nor do I want to start. I took off on my birthday. It would just be too hard to be at work that day. I told the office I prefer not to celebrate. My brother and I always waited until we could be together before we celebrated. In fact, our birthday was the last time I got to talk him. He was coming up on the Tuesday after Memorial Day weekend but there was a canoing accident and he was missing for 3 days before they found him 6 miles down river. My world fell apart when the game warden called saying they had found his body. Every night I lay my head down, I think of him being in the river those days. I get a sick feeling when I think about it. Just know that there are plenty of us out there that you can talk to. We have to cope each in our own way. There is no right or wrong. It's all about the heart and my heart hurts when I think of him. We can pray for one another because only God can heal a broken heart.
I know your pain, my baby brother Brent completed suicide on December 8, 2011. I have found solace only in the little things as it has only been four months, what I mean by that is a hot cup of coffee, the warm sun in my face, my fleece robe after a hot bath. I have also found a SOS group that meets once a month in Portsmouth the third Wed. of every month. The people there are all like you and me some have survived this for years it is really good for me and your welcome to come if you would like.
The pain is still so new and I don't think I am following any kind of process of grief. It is awful on every avenue...but we must make a choice to live and try to find some sort of normal in all of this.
One breathe at a time.
"Love sorrow. She is yours now, and you must take care of what has been given. Brush her hair, help her into her little coat, hold her hand, especially when crossing a street. For, think, what if you should lose her? Then you would be sorrow yourself; her drawn face, her sleeplessness would be yours. Take care, touch her forehead that she feel herself not so
utterly alone. And smile, that she does not altogether forget the world before the lesson. Have patience in abundance. And do not ever lie or ever leave her even for a moment
by herself, which is to say, possibly, again, abandoned. She is strange, mute, difficult, sometimes unmanageable but, remember, she is a child. And amazing things can happen. And you may see,
as the two of you go walking together in the morning light, how little by little she relaxes; she looks about her; she begins to grow." — Mary Oliver (Red Bird: Poems)
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My birthday was the pitts too and Brent's is on May 2 and I am dreading it. My mom is like a shell of what she was. Grief is the worst...I pray that you have peace Glenda. I am so sorry about your brother. You have to honor that part of you that hurts so badly...hold her hand.
(((hugs)))
heather
To be honest, I haven't coped well with the identity thing. I feel like 1/2 of me is gone. I've never spent a birthday alone nor do I want to start. I took off on my birthday. It would just be too hard to be at work that day. I told the office I prefer not to celebrate. My brother and I always waited until we could be together before we celebrated. In fact, our birthday was the last time I got to talk him. He was coming up on the Tuesday after Memorial Day weekend but there was a canoing accident and he was missing for 3 days before they found him 6 miles down river. My world fell apart when the game warden called saying they had found his body. Every night I lay my head down, I think of him being in the river those days. I get a sick feeling when I think about it. Just know that there are plenty of us out there that you can talk to. We have to cope each in our own way. There is no right or wrong. It's all about the heart and my heart hurts when I think of him. We can pray for one another because only God can heal a broken heart.
To be honest, I haven't coped well with the identity thing. I feel like 1/2 of me is gone. I've never spent a birthday alone nor do I want to start. I took off on my birthday. It would just be too hard to be at work that day. I told the office I prefer not to celebrate. My brother and I always waited until we could be together before we celebrated. In fact, our birthday was the last time I got to talk him. He was coming up on the Tuesday after Memorial Day weekend but there was a canoing accident and he was missing for 3 days before they found him 6 miles down river. My world fell apart when the game warden called saying they had found his body. Every night I lay my head down, I think of him being in the river those days. I get a sick feeling when I think about it. Just know that there are plenty of us out there that you can talk to. We have to cope each in our own way. There is no right or wrong. It's all about the heart and my heart hurts when I think of him. We can pray for one another because only God can heal a broken heart.
Camille,
I know your pain, my baby brother Brent completed suicide on December 8, 2011. I have found solace only in the little things as it has only been four months, what I mean by that is a hot cup of coffee, the warm sun in my face, my fleece robe after a hot bath. I have also found a SOS group that meets once a month in Portsmouth the third Wed. of every month. The people there are all like you and me some have survived this for years it is really good for me and your welcome to come if you would like.
The pain is still so new and I don't think I am following any kind of process of grief. It is awful on every avenue...but we must make a choice to live and try to find some sort of normal in all of this.
One breathe at a time.
"Love sorrow. She is yours now, and you must
take care of what has been
given. Brush her hair, help her
into her little coat, hold her hand,
especially when crossing a street. For, think,
what if you should lose her? Then you would be
sorrow yourself; her drawn face, her sleeplessness
would be yours. Take care, touch
her forehead that she feel herself not so
utterly alone. And smile, that she does not
altogether forget the world before the lesson.
Have patience in abundance. And do not
ever lie or ever leave her even for a moment
by herself, which is to say, possibly, again,
abandoned. She is strange, mute, difficult,
sometimes unmanageable but, remember, she is a child.
And amazing things can happen. And you may see,
as the two of you go
walking together in the morning light, how
little by little she relaxes; she looks about her;
she begins to grow."
— Mary Oliver (Red Bird: Poems)
(((hugs)))