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My name is Carin. I’m Cody’s mom. My son took his own life on Wednesday 12/21/11 approx. late morning. I had a bad feeling while at work almost like my heart left my chest so I decided to go home half a day. As soon as I walked into the house my world got darker and darker as I started to realize something was wrong. I found my son in his room. It was too late he was already gone. He did not leave us a note and we will never have answers why. Cody will FOREVER be loved and missed by so many people. My life will never be the same without my youngest baby boy
http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/codybutz/Homepage.aspx
Posted on April 21, 2012 at 9:35pm 0 Comments 0 Likes
My dearest Cody, You left us four months ago today. The pain is as heavy today as it was that day. I’m holding strong to my faith and I’m praying every day. I’ll never know why and I will never understand. I sure hope you knew mommy loved you the most. My heart will never be the same without you here. I’m trying real hard to learn how to live my new life without you in it. Some days the pain is just too much to bear. You will forever be loved and missed not only by me but so many people. I…
ContinuePosted on February 17, 2012 at 8:46pm 0 Comments 0 Likes
http://www.giveforward.com/codybutz
As I grieve the loss of Cody I thought of ways to remember my son and continue to pay it forward just like Cody always did for a lot of people with his kind heart.
I have created a fundraiser in Cody’s honor to cover funeral expenses for other parents who have…
Posted on January 7, 2012 at 12:27am 4 Comments 0 Likes
Comfort from a complete stranger
I went to Cody's grave site for the first time since being laid to rest last week. I just sat on the ground and cried for about 2 hours. I tried talking to Cody and feel comfort in just sitting there at his site. A elderly man walk up to me and ask if he could sit with me. He sat down on the ground with me and told me his wife died 6 months ago and he comes back everyday to visit her site. He said he saw us all last week and knew by the…
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Hi Carin, Charles was 26 when he died. I think it goes with the territory that we blame ourselves for not doing more or doing things differently. Hindsight is 20/20, unfortunately we didn't know/see what we do now. Self-blame tormented me for a long while. It still does come over me at times, although less often now and much less intensely. The majority of instances of suicidal deaths is due to brain disorders like depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, et al.; however, some suicide deaths occur as a result of impulsivity. At any rate, these are not conditions that we were equipped to contend with in our children, and we had not idea that they would go the route they did. I know that telling you to not hold yourself responsible is ineffectual, because I know that when I was in that place, no one could deter me from condemning myself for his death. However, I will say it anyway, because you still need to hear it, and in time you will come to accept the truth of it and let yourself off the hook. I'm here whenever you need to talk.
I watched your video and read the article and love what you are doing and how you are channeling your grief. Be sure to post your AFSP OOTD link so we can follow your efforts. Lord bless you!
I've been thinking a lot about you lately and wanted to letnyou know you have been in my prayers.
I spent the summer trying to spend time with the girls, and really sort of ignoring my grief. Now I've finally decided it's time to mourn, and make some forward progress.
I have not attended any suicide survivor meetings, but that is my goal this month. I do think we carry a different sort of pain, and I am hoping listening to others will help. My youngest is in counseling, and my older daughter will start this fall.
I pray you have recovered and you are healing.
Laura
sorry sunset not sunser
Carin, saw a beautiful pink sunser last night thought about you sending hugs and prayers your way love Daphne
What a wonderful birthday tribute. So sorry to hear of all your sons friends..
Happy Birthday Cody
You are truly a very strong person and your son was beautiful. To see someone so talented, good looking, smart, funny, and loving have such an awful illness leaves you wondering why? My brother was the same, whole life in front of him instead he battled everyday. My parents found my brother. It's an awful image that will be forever embedded in their minds as well. I'm so sorry for your loss Godbless
My brothers birthday is on the 29th the day before I was supposed to get married. We have postponed the wedding of course. Somedays are harder than others especially getting through work. It's so hard but having the right support with help us get through this. Cody will never be forgotton and will always be your son. Please feel free to talk to me anytime. My email is Aydensmom518@comcast.net
I am so sorry for your loss, my 21 yr old brother just took his life May 20 and I know how my parents are taking it now. Our world is upside down and we have no idea what to think, do, or anything. We will never know why or the amount of pain that they went through. What I do know is my parents need my sister and me more than ever and I promise to be their shoulder to cry on and a voice for my brother. Much love to your family
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