Carol DeVenuts
  • Female
  • Union, NJ
  • United States Minor Outlying Islands
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At 1:04pm on December 3, 2012, Come Be Refreshed 119 said…

Dear Carol, how are matters going with you and Bill? Please say hello to him, your son and please give Duke a good pat or rub on the head for me....(:-). I'm praying that this message finds you and Bill holding up. As far as the situation with Bill's family Carol call me or email me, which ever is convienient for you. Just remember Carol that God is a refuge and a secure height for those who are dealing with adversities from all angles (Philippians 4:6,7; Psalms 9:9)...If you need a sounding board and a good listening ear, I am here for you.

Sincerely, Jackie

At 12:40pm on December 3, 2012, Come Be Refreshed 119 said…

Dear Carol how are things going?...

At 9:49am on December 1, 2012, Come Be Refreshed 119 said…

Dear Carol its about 9:20 a.m. est time and I didn't want to get my day fully started without touching base with you to see how you, Bill and Duke are fairing. As much as I want to Carol I will never fully grasp the emotional pain, the trauma of losing your husband and niece to the pangs of death and to see your dear good friend Bill slowly dying; and then you compound that with eventually letting go sweet Duke, Bill's and your loyal dog companion. It hasn't been easy for you why I feel in my heart that Jehovah is helping you with their needs as well as your own. Remember Carol, try and keep yourself up by getting enough rest when you can, fresh air, and by eating nutritious meals when you can. In this way Carol you will not be so emotionally or mentally exhausted when it comes to assisting Bill and taking a little time Duke. Thank goodness for a son like yours who comes and walks Duke every other day. I know that is a great help to you and Bill. Carol, my husband and I have a pure breed german shepherd named Keke. She is almost 10 months old. She weighs 77 pounds at present and she is a handful with tons of energy, very playful, attentive, loving and loyal, Keke is also very protective, extremely intelligent, compounded with unconditional love and all these qualities are manifested in german shepherds. That is why I know it will be a hard thing to give Duke up if and when Bill falls asleep in death. Carol I also understand when you say Duke is to big for you to handle. You say Duke is 130 pounds, Phew!, he's a strong and powerful dog. Keke is is just 77 pounds and it is difficult to to walk her, because shes pulling me along or walking me, instead of me walking her. So Leo takes care of Keke's playful physical activities and the walking part.

Carol in the matter concerning Bills relative, I have a lot to tell you because Leo and I are going through something very similar. Between this evening and tomorrow I will get back with you. Here is my cell phone number: 734-559-4866, my personal email address is jjackson101952.jj@gmail.com. Please, Carol feel free to contact me anytime, either by text, email, or phone call. I would like to send you a picture of me, Leo and Keke also. Hang in there Carol and hold your head up because you have done nothing wrong but try to do the right thing to the best of your ability. You seem to have gone beyond the call of duty; and that is truly commendable and amazing. I also discern, that you are stronger than you think you are. The trials and challenges that you are going through will be a blessing in disguise, because ultimately you will come out more wiser, better prepared for the coming ones and you will be stronger. It just takes patience and time and you will see for yourself. Never leave God out of the equation, for it is by Him Carol that you will receive comfort and direction (Isaiah 41:10-13 verses 11 and 12 can be applied to anyone who is causing you problems or trouble; Philippians 4:6,7). Carol, if you happen to call me and my answering device comes on just leave me message. Lots of prayers, hugs and well wishes for you from me have been heading your way...take care of yourself, I will get back with you soon.                                                             

Jackie

At 11:37pm on November 29, 2012, Come Be Refreshed 119 said…
Dear Carol I pray this message finds you and Bill coping and with a measure of peace despite the fragile circumstances that exist for you both. Fragile for Bill because his life is fading, and fragile for you Carol because you have already lost your husband and niece. At this point the question is...how do you make Bills' remaining days comfortable for him emotionally and spiritually and at the same time lessen the anxiety and stress on yourself as someone who assists him in taking care of his needs.....Remember you and Bill have been good friends for 40 years. There is a verse in the Bible at Proverbs 17:17 that reads: " A true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is born for when there is distress." Now, think about this illustration: Usually when a person is on death roll, on the day of that ones' execution, he or she is usually afforded the choice of choosing their last meal. Bill could be likened to being on death roll, not because he commited a henious crime, but because of the pancreatic cancer and imperfection inherited from Adam and Eve, our first parents, Bills' life will sadly come to an end....His not wanting to talk about his illness is a defense to keep his mind off his dire situation. Because of the progression of the disease and the accompanying pain, discomfort and possibly any treatments he may be receiving, there will be no doubt feelings of utter frustration, feelings of utter helplessness on both of your parts and frayed nerves at times will come into the picture. Stinging, tart words may dampen both of your days and cause you both to regret saying them....You will ease your emotional pain Carol and have less stress if you allow Bill the dignity of "eating his final meal", so to speak. That means allowing him to do the things he wants to short of injuring himself. The maternal instinct that we as women have is strong to take care of others especially those that we love. And so continue to work at being balanced and reasonable my dear and you will save your self a lot of frustrations and hurt feelings (:^). Ask Jehovah to give you the strength to help you to keep your head up. Theres a verse in the Bible at Proverbs 14:13 that says -"Even in laughter the heart may be in pain....", but notice the end result of grief in the same verse: ".....and grief is what rejoicing ends up in." Meaning that in time your grieving or mourning will be turned to into happiness and joy...By means of a wonderful miracle called a resurrection many of our dear ones' who have fallen asleep in death will live again on earth under the heavenly based Kingdom of God ( Isaiah 26:19; Revelation 21:4,5). Carol please know that you and Bill will be in my thoughts and prayers....Also, please say hello to Bill for me...sincerely, Jackie. Will get back with you soon (:^).
At 10:08pm on November 27, 2012, Come Be Refreshed 119 said…
Hi Carol Im hoping and praying that you and Bill are holding up as much as to be expected. Im also praying that this reply finds you and Bill fairing okay considering the sad, and difficult circumstances you both are facing....My prayer for your dear friend of 40 years is that Jehovah gives him a calm and peaceful heart and to ease his mind of anxiety....Im also praying that you be strong for Bill. Carol, my dear try hard with God's assistance, not to show strong emotions in front of Bill. Do not let him see you breakdown with to many tears. He needs your strength right down to the end...Smile even though your heart is breaking. Hold his hand and whisper a soft prayer for him. You can ask Jehovah to please remember your friend and ease to his suffering so that he can live out his remaining days with have a measure of comfort. Well Carol I hope I'm not to late in my reply to you. Also, I'll ask Jehovah to help you make it through the holidays because I know it will be hard for you without your loved ones' Take care I will check back on you and Bill soon.....
Jackie
At 2:16pm on November 25, 2012, Come Be Refreshed 119 said…
Hi Carol, thank you allowing me the privilege to be on your friendship list. I look forward to an upbuilding interchange of encouragement with you. I have kept you in my thoughts and prayers and hoping the coming days will be gentle and kind to you. take care of yourself.
Jackie (:-]
At 7:42pm on November 23, 2012, Come Be Refreshed 119 said…

Dear Carol you've gone through and are going through a lot at present. With the death of your niece and husband, and now your best friend for 40 yrs is dying of the same thing your niece died of, pancreatic cancer, what an ordeal and challenge you are facing. Yes death is truly an "enemy" to all who have had their loved ones snatched away suddenly or over a course of time because of some horrific disease such as cancer or other terrible illness. The untold sorrow, pain (emotional, mental and physical), the feeling of helplessness, emptiness and bewilderment and an overwhelming feeling of utter loneliness even when friends and relatives are around truly and clearly marks death as an "enemy". The survivors are left with the sometimes tedious task of restructuring their lives...because a well needed income no longer will be coming in to help with the bills if there is no insurance money left over from burial and other expences. The laughter of a child playing, the loving waves of "good-bye honey, I'll see you in a little while" no longer grace our ears; the memorable walks and talks with your loved one and the sweet terms of endearment are now only a whisper of ones' memory...Yes death is truly an enemy" because many of us Carol like yourself, have to literally watch and assist our terminally ill loved ones the best that we can before they fall asleep in death and as you said it is very heartwrenching to see them put up a valiant, courageous fight before they die knowing that they are struggling to stay strong for us, O! how the outward and inner tears flow. Yes, indeed death is a cruel "enemy" that has no feelings for age, race, or status in life. Death doesnt care about how good you look, how talented you are, how much people love and adore you or how well you take care of yourself, or if you're rich or poor, yes death is truly an "enemy" as the Holy Scriptures mention at 1st Corinthians 15:26. Death has no mercy on our feelings or our circumstances. One day Carol maybe you will understand why many of us strongly believe that verse in the Bible and maybe one day you will come to appreciate the beautiful promise in the scriptures that apply to those who have fallen asleep in death. The beautiful hope of a resurrection to life again for them. Many of us earthwide look forward to that day when we will be able to hold them in our warm embraces once again (Isaiah 26:19; Acts 24:15; ...Carol again, you have my sincerest condolences and sympathies for your two lost precious ones and for your very sick friend for forty years (Isaiah 33:24)
Jackie

At 12:37pm on September 18, 2012, Carol DeVenuts said…

Hi .... my name is Carol ... I know what grief is.  I watched my 39 year old niece die of pancreatic  cancer 20 years ago, I lost my husband 2 years ago and now my best friend, Bill, of 40 years is dying of pancreatic cancer also.  He looks like a skeleton,  It is so heartbreaking for me and I'm his only support.  I go there every day, help him and feed his German Shephard and make sure he has water.  Bill is trying to act independent, but he is very depressed and also angry.  It's a rerrible situation and I am grieving already.    I have a few friends who try to help me, but I depended on Bill for everything.  My heart hurts to see him like this.  Cancer is a horrible thing and a agonizing death.

 
 
 

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