Carol Lowry
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  • Walkerton, VA
  • United States
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  • Carrie L

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At 3:07pm on August 15, 2010, Carrie L said…
Carol you are very wise. and thanks for the encouragement about beating myself up. I need to take care of myself. But I needed to take care of him to I am his mom. he only had one. I let him down. If he was doing drugs which I believe he played with whatever. I should have said I love you stop it. He was acting weird. But I didn't see him much. 4 times last year. once for a movie and lunch once to take him to his friends. why couldn't we have spent that day together. took him skiing overnight. and once went to the house and he was speaking of harry chrisna and how that whole following doesn't have material possessions etc. I didn't have much time or thought for his wild ideas. I blew them off as an excuse for not working and since his dad was willing to just let him live there without working. it worked for him I thought he was going to be ok.....there is no compassionate friends here. have you gone there? I hvae horses also. perhaps in the future i could offer that to children but a lot of people have horses here. It is so expensive to travel around anymore. Thanks for your support. You have been very helpful. What was your son like? Mine loved people and loved to talk. He taught himself to play the guitar and he had a best friend who loved him dearly who was the son of one of my best friends sisters. they had a lot of fun together and he will be greatly missed. Carrie L
At 6:45am on August 15, 2010, Carrie L said…
Carol your advice is heartwarming. I have tried to help others I always like help. I know my son needed help he did not live with me. His father was very laid back and his brother kept things from me. His accident was his fault he chose to go to the lake. I keep thinking it was my fault. Well I know I didn't keep in touch with him like I should of. I took him skiing in december that was the last time I saw him. He was talking constantly and a bit angry at me. Looking back i understand completely his feelings. But he was also making excuses for not working and I thought his anger was just at his parents as an excuse. I will forever be sad that I didn't try to get inside his head. Death is the end I didn't think he would die. but he is gone. his purpose fufulled. Have you heard that new song If I die young? where are you? I am in Kentucky. Carrie L
At 7:53pm on August 14, 2010, Carrie L said…
Carol thanks so much for writing morgan was almost 24 I agree with everything you said i have asked if they wanted to have another child. no is the answer. they have no idea. i sew for a living and am alone a lot. just too much regret. my son had a tragic death and it cannot get out of my mind.i know in time it will help but probably not much. yep if i were around children i would help them. Carrie L
At 5:03pm on August 14, 2010, Carrie L said…
Hi carol. Yep that sounds great . I know this world needs all the help it can get. ecspecially children. there are parents out there in poverty etc. there is so much we can help each other with. just like somehow we are helping eachother here. somehow. mostly how we share the pain of the loss where as death to most as death before this was someone elses problem. humans just go on. but now my every breath is of regret and loss and why and how. i am grouchy sad undermined not the samemom. etc. i want him. yours has been a while and you are still on this site. i just want to cry. it has been a bad two days marital problems. losses.... I will be ok. just understand why so many people are so sad. carrie L
At 12:10pm on August 14, 2010, Carrie L said…
Hi carol that sounds like a good idea.I just wish i had done more for him he had an invincible personality very storng willed lived life his way. i never thought he would die. carrie L
At 11:45am on August 14, 2010, Carrie L said…
H carol sorry for your loss. i am very very sad it comes in waves. and then my mind can't escape anything. just plays it over and over again. want to help others feel helpless. carrie L

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