Dear Carolyn, don't be afraid, your dear Ray is safe, you can believe that. Believe in the love that is in the universe, even if you are not religious, trust that there is a greater power than all of us, and in their gentleness they will take care of Ray. Perhaps if you read some books (Buddist based religions) and other spiritual types of books you will find some comfort - or even on line, there is so much to learn and understand. Just don't be scared, Ray loves you and he is protecting you, believe that.
Carolyn, I'm sorry if I have discouraged you by any of my recent comments on the wall. I am facing the 1 yr. mark; I am having a hard time crying & some anger issues. I was doing o.k. and I have made great strides over this past year. I have forced myself to become more active in my church, community & have started a grief support outreach of sortsas well as a nonprofit organization in honor of by man. You will be fine, but know that we will never "get over it" & emotions are unpredictable. Be patient with yourself, breathe & above all else (at least for me) PRAY!
Carolyn ... I am so sorry you are having a rough time. I am in the same fix you are which seems to be a vicious cycle. I also went to the doctors and am due for tests for my stomach as I am having difficulties eating and I just want to close the blinds and hide the world. I know it seems you are letting your loved one down if you dare to laugh; have fun, but one night when you are up to it ask yourself this 'what would Ray want me to do ... stop living and wither away or go on in his memory.' I have done that myself and I know the latter is true. I believe our loved ones are in a much better place waiting for us. I am trying very hard not to disappoint the love of my life by getting on my feet and starting to live in his memory. I truly hope this gives you some comfort. You are in my prayers and a big HUG!