Cassandra
  • 34, Female
  • South Euclid, Ohio
  • United States
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This is my father in law, Dale. He was in transition and had changed his name to Gail Johanna. I think that the fact that she was on hormones, w/o the supervision of a psych and drinking made the decsion to take her life way too easy...

Cassandra's Blog

Missing my mom

Posted on January 29, 2010 at 11:59am 2 Comments

My mother was murdered on 8/11/2004. She was beaten to death by someone whom she claimed as a friend. They were both using drugs and drinking and got to fighting and it got out of hand, at least thats what he told me. I was in prison serving 3 years for some stupid stuff I did. I wasn't allowed to go to the services, never told why not. My mother was cremated like she wanted and my aunt was supposed to hold her ashes until I got home so that I could bury my mom. She got on drugs, got evicted… Continue

how it started for me

Posted on December 15, 2009 at 8:19am 1 Comment

On December 1, 2009, I recieved an email from my father in law. It contained his suicide letter, reading the words that he felt needed to be said, my heart felt stuck in my chest. I tried calling and got no answer. I hurridly got my boys ready and sped the whole way there. Normally it takes about an hour 15 to make it ther, I was there in 45. I dropped the boys off on the next block at a friends. I got there and his car was there, I open the door and its this erry silence. I was trembling and… Continue

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At 8:19am on December 15, 2009, Cassandra said…
On December 1, 2009, I recieved an email from my father in law. It contained his suicide letter, reading the words that he felt needed to be said, my heart felt stuck in my chest. I tried calling and got no answer. I hurridly got my boys ready and sped the whole way there. Normally it takes about an hour 15 to make it ther, I was there in 45. I dropped the boys off on the next block at a friends. I got there and his car was there, I open the door and its this erry silence. I was trembling and crying before I made it through the door way. I quickly glanced around the first floor and it was empty. All the while I am praying "Please let him be asleep". I make it up the stairs and I can see his feet at the edge of the bed, as I go closer I am seeing more of his body. I'm really shaking now, the last images I have of him are nothing I EVER want to see again. He used his mothers 8 gauge and ended his life. I am asking myself why's constantly. I know this was his choice but I am not only hurting but anger he would do this. I know its wrong to feel this way but I'm sorry, its the way I feel.
 
 
 

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