Here I am now feeling much better. The healing is taking place. I am in a much better position thanks to God. He has given me strength and courage to go on with my life, although there are times I have my meltdowns. Things just trigger them; yet, I pray and continue by volunteering at my church, seeing friends, family, going to my daughter's gigs, selling Avon, being a volunteer with the Gabriel Project, a catholic organization that helps pregnant women. It has been 2 years and 4 1/2 months since my husband died of kidney cancer. I wept yesterday remembering him, Father's Day; also for my Dad who passed away in 2006. There is only one father left in my family, a brother, who has two grown children, with 3 grandchildren. I have two grown unmarried son and daughter, no grandkids yet! I have learned that God is in control, my grief has turned into a blessing; my life will never be the same, but I can use it to help others, and have become a more much compassionate person, less judgemental, and content with my life. God bless everyone here, and may He fill your lives with His peace!
I miss my husband so much! Sometimes it is just too much to bear! My heart is broken and I am trying to put the pieces back together! He passed away on February 19, 2008. These have been the hardest 2 years of my life. We were married almost 32 years; he died of kidney cancer. In 2005 he had a quadruple by-pass after suffering a heart attack; it was also discovered that he was diabetic. My poor husband suffered so much! Our whole world as we knew it changed and things just got worse as time went on. Yet, he was so brave and never complained or blamed God for his illnesses. He tried so hard to stay positive and had tremendous faith. After his death, I helped my daughter buy her first home; I did not want to live alone, so now we live together as well as my son. I even went back to school, our local community college to study Medical Terminology and Medical Office Procedures. I am also self-employed in the beauty business. There are days I feel so overwhelmed with loneliness without him, I feel worn out, tired, and just want to sleep! I don't want to see or talk to anyone. Will the pain ever stop?