Celia, I am speechless. I wish I could tell you that the pain you are feeling will go away, but it won't. Yes, you will get up everyday and continue your life and you will laugh again, and think of her and smile, but a part of you died with her. I might sound bitter and hopeless, but this is the truth. Sibling bonds are wonderfully unique. It has been almost 10 years since my sister died in a car accident. She was only 25 years old. I miss her every single day and am impossibly sad that she is not here with me. What ever you are feeling, just let it out and do NOT hold it in. Your sister's daughter will come around when she is old enough. She will want you to tell her everything about her mom. That is something you can look forward to.....to pass the memories.