Charlene Ozawa
  • 63, Female
  • San Francisco, CA
  • United States
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Charlene Ozawa's Friends

  • Ladona Melton
  • Ellen Brant
  • Susan Mayer
  • Barbara Roth
  • Debbie Treadway
  • Suzanne
 

Charlene Ozawa's Page

Latest Conversations

Charlene Ozawa commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Joann don't feel like an idiot!!!! We have enough going on in our lives right now. You are hurting and when we hurt we don't expect people to try and take advantage. It's them not you! Hugs!!!!"
Apr 29, 2011
Charlene Ozawa commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Also the sentence about distance and color is a clue. I got several of those myself. Differant name same last sentence. Hope this helps."
Apr 29, 2011
Charlene Ozawa commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"I have been on this site since October. There have been multiple religious, dating and other scam people from time to time. Just be careful. 99% of the time everyone is real. Just don't answer right away if you are concerned. You will be able…"
Apr 29, 2011
Charlene Ozawa commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Oh Kathy I am so sorry!! I wish I had some words of wisdom to make you feel better. Hugs.."
Apr 28, 2011
Charlene Ozawa commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Happy Easter to all. I hope you all have a peaceful day. Hugs..."
Apr 24, 2011
Charlene Ozawa replied to Renee Semo's discussion Does anyone know how to handle your mortgage company? in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Hi Renee. Good question. My husband died June 19th and I haven't told the bank yet. I'm selling the house and the real estate agent said since we had a will and trust not to worry about it. I don't know how the mortgage co. can call…"
Apr 4, 2011
Charlene Ozawa commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Oh Betsy my heart goes out to you and your family.  I don't even have words to express my feelings.  Hugs to you and I will be thinking of you."
Mar 29, 2011
Charlene Ozawa commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Hi all. Patricia I know what you are feeling. No I am not alright I want to shout to people. Instead I smile and say I'm fine. I don't know that I will ever be alright but I will go on. I had a really close friend of ours say it was too…"
Mar 28, 2011
Charlene Ozawa replied to Marlena's discussion Thanks to all of YOU! in the group Bereaved Spouses
"This site has been my life saver.  Michael died last June and I didn't fine this site till October. Halloween no less.  I thought I would loose my mind, I had so many feelings and couldn't keep talking to friends and family.…"
Mar 27, 2011
Charlene Ozawa commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Hey Christy do they have common law marriage in your state? You might want to check that out. Even consult an attorney. Hugs to you."
Mar 26, 2011
Charlene Ozawa commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Happy Birthday Debbie! My birthday and Michaels were three days apart in September. It was really hard as we always celebrated together. In another note I had taken my wedding rings off two weeks ago. Long story short they are back on. Feel much…"
Mar 25, 2011
Charlene Ozawa replied to Suzanne's discussion I miss everything. in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Hi All,   I miss everything too! To much to list, to much to think about without sobbing....   Hugs, Charlene"
Mar 24, 2011
Charlene Ozawa replied to Renee Semo's discussion I dont like who I am becoming.... in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Really good advice Yaca!!! Hugs.."
Mar 23, 2011
Charlene Ozawa replied to Renee Semo's discussion I dont like who I am becoming.... in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Hi Renee,  My husband died June 19, 2010.  I am sorry for your loss. I believe you shouldn't have to speak if it is too painfull. Find out if you can have a close friend of the family speak on behalf of you and your children. If it is…"
Mar 23, 2011
Charlene Ozawa commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Hugs to all!"
Mar 22, 2011
Charlene Ozawa left a comment for Debbie Treadway
"It's so hard to get rid of things. I cry over silly things. What was really hard were the greeting cards he kept that I gave him over the years. I didn't know he saved them. I rented a storage unit to keep items I didnt want to get rid of…"
Mar 22, 2011

Comment Wall (29 comments)

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At 9:12pm on March 21, 2011, Debbie Treadway said…
Charlene, don't worry about spelling I just appreciate your comments. When you said it felt disloyal to get rid of your husband's things that hit the nail on the head with me. Waymon was a hoarder and loved all of his stuff. I just feel so bad for selling any of it especially his truck. I have cried about it a lot but I hope I will start feeling less guilty in the days to come. Thanks for listening.
At 2:50pm on January 25, 2011, Carol Kayser said…

Hello Charlene, I just wanted to say that I feel very similar to you and your journey.  After being married to my Jack for 38 years (39 on Dec. 31st/10) and knowing him over 40 years, I feel like I have lost half of my essence, my true self.  Where do we go, what do we do?  I had an invite I also turned down.  It was a retirement party for a close friend.  It involved travelling but more than that I didn't feel like I could be "happy", and I really didn't want to experience that happiness..not ready.  5 months only for me.  I do though feel very close to my husband, because I know he is here with me.  I believe that our loved ones are much closer than we think, and are loving and protecting us, and most definitely we will be together again.  In fact I count on it!  I have done a tremendous amount of reading and I gain tremendous comfort from other people's experiences.  We are all on this road and grieve and suffering, and yet, your husband, my husband, everyone's loved ones, are helping us to get through this because they love us so dearly and don't want to watch us in pain, for it saddens them.

 

If you at some point feel like doing some research/reading look up Michael Newton for a beginning and move ahead from there.

 

Take care.  Oh and I wanted to say my husband immigrated from California to marry me all those years ago, (we live in Vancouver) and he was from Monterey and Seaside Cal. and went frequently to SanFranc.  In fact also my sister-in-law lives in Santa Cruz and we are planning a trip to meet in S.F. this year sometime.

 

Take good care.

 

God Bless,

Carol

At 6:23pm on January 10, 2011, Randolph L. Schrader said…
Hi Charlene. Thank you for responding to my posting.I will continue to read the grief site and hope that I can add some advice,ect.. I wish you well and all of the best. I was sooo sad and lonely and useless. Now I have someone to be around that truely understands. Hugs to you. Hugs are good.
At 8:16am on January 6, 2011, Virginia said…

Hi Charlene, I'm so sorry for your loss. I do come and read the postings almost everyday but for some reason just didn't and don't comment. There are so many new members and it is so sad to know what everyone is going through and the pain and depressoin that is all so consumming. I guess I find it hard to tell people that it does get easier as time goes on but the pain and lonelyness will always be there. I truelly believe when the surving spuose is ready to except that you must go on with living as I finally did then they will.I needed to move forward I didn't want to and finally said I don't want to sit here and wait to die,because that is what I was doing as I'm disabled and home 24/7. I wasn't looking for another relationship, I just need to start being me again. When I did that it was great, then when Randy and I  began   talking neither one of us was looking for someone else but it just happened so if it's ment to be who are we to fight it.Neither one of us truely understood   how or why we clicked as we say, but it is working and I know our spouse are ok with it sometimes we joke their must be a higher power at work lol. so let nature take contro,if it's ment to be it will be. God Bless and hugs to you.      

At 1:28am on December 31, 2010, Suzanne said…

Dear Charlene,

I am so sorry for the losses you have experienced.  It is so hard for what you had to endure.  You have brought me to a better place at this very moment because I have been so disheartened that even though I felt I had messages and signs I felt very much disconnected from my husband or anyone in the afterlife.  You are very blessed to have such strength and to share your heartbreaking yet heartwarming story of how we can be sad for our loss, but know we will all be together and I am so thankful you felt the need to lelt us in your very personal and touching awareness.  I believe you and I hope to arise to your model of courage.  Thank you so much.

With love,

God bless you,

Suzanne

At 3:14pm on December 29, 2010, Susan Mayer said…

Hi Charlene - Yes, my Christmas was okay.  I had a few friends in Christmas Eve, then headed to the airport to fly to DC to see my younger stepson, daughter-in-law, and 2-year old granddaughter.  A photo or two are posted on Facebook.  Although I expected Christmas to be harder, it feels like New Years might be tougher than I thought.  I think the coming of a new year - one which Steve will never see - is coinciding with some grief work on my part to let go of aspects of my old life with him.  So, it's hard, but in a way that eventually will be helpful, I think. 

Hope you're not too sad today, with your son departing and that 2011 brings us all some peace. 

 

Hugs,

Susan

At 9:05pm on December 28, 2010, Barbara Roth said…
Charlene, Today was Mom's funeral. I am SO done with having to make funeral arrangements. Mom's was only 9 wks.after Jim's. I looked at my daughters and grandaughters faces today, saw the tears,saw the sadness(they were close with Mom). Then I saw some of the same people there that were at Jim's funeral. I sure hope 2011 will be less painful. Thanks Charlene --- hope it'll be less painful to you also. Hugs
At 4:33pm on December 20, 2010, Barbara Roth said…

Charlene, Happy to hear from you. I'm faced with another crisis on this journey. My mom has taken a turn for the worse. Considering her age (93) and health, it would be a blessing for her to go. It's only been 8 1/2 wks since I lost Jim, don't know if I can handle this emotionally. Don't think I'll have a choice. God must think I'm alot stronger than I do. You could do me a favor, send some warm weather this way. The weather forcast is calling for 5 inches of snow tonite ----lovely. At six months, has it gotten any easier? Take care, thanks for being a friend.

At 2:07pm on December 20, 2010, Susan Mayer said…

Hi Charlene,

 

It's good to hear from you.  No, I wasn't sick, but did need to have a colonoscopy after a positive fecal occult blood test.  It went well and nothing serious was found.  Won't have to do the test again for 5 years.  Just another unwelcome bump on the already-rough road, but it's over now, and I'm okay.

 

The holidays and the cold, dark, and snow of winter have me a bit lower than I'd been.  I also think the numbness has finally worn off, and the pain is hitting hard.  To the degree that that represents progress, I'll take it.  I'll be glad when the holidays are over, even more glad when winter is over.  But I have plans: Good friends in for dinner Christmas Eve and flying out to see my 2-year old granddaughter for a couple of days Christmas morning.  I go back and forth on whether or not I feel like traveling, but I think Steve would want me to visit our granddaughter (and I have a non-refundable airline ticket!), so I'll just do it and not over-think it.

 

I'm glad you got through the 6-month mark well enough; it's encouraging to me.  As for the emotions hitting unexpectedly, that is entirely consistent with what I'm experiencing.  A tidal wave of pain can suddenly wash over me, leaving me nearly gasping for breath.  Fortunately, if I just ride with the pain, it diminishes fairly quickly, maybe in 20-30 minutes.  I won't feel great, but the worst passes, leaving the usual heavy pain I seem to carry around most of the time.  I don't expect this to change anytime soon.

 

Are you on Facebook?  There's a bereaved spouses group there - it's small; about 35 people - but the interface there is friendlier than on Legacy.  If you're on (or if you want to join), find the group by typing "bereaved spouses" in the search box.  Hope to see you there!

 

Hugs,

Susan

 

 

At 11:49am on November 30, 2010, Susan Mayer said…
Charlene, thank you so much for sharing the Buddhist saying about pain vs. misery with me. I love it! Makes me want to stitch a sampler with that saying; it's perfect for how I'm feeling.

I hope you're doing well enough and that your Thanksgiving went well. Now we run the gauntlet of holiday merry-making, don't we? I'm starting a short-term (4 session), holiday grief support group tonight. I need it.
 
 
 

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