Charles, I am so sorry for your loss and even sorrier you now are joining us on the roller coaster ride called grief.  Within this site you will see you are not alone, we are all grieving and we are all in different stages of grief.  This will be one of the hardest roads you will ever have to venture down.  You will strive to find a new normal as you begin your life 1/2 of being whole.  

I lost my husband 15 months ago to lung cancer and it was an uphill battle we fought together until his last breath.  I miss him terribly and strive to put one foot in front of the other.  Come here often even if it is read posts or to vent when you feel it is necessary.

Hugs,  Jane P.