Cheryl,

What a beautiful voice your daughter Chelsea had!  They played "Over the Rainbow" at the cemetery for my son Todd, after they had played a song he loved, "That's Not My Name" by the Ting Tings.  At the church, during his memorial service, they played the theme from "Star Wars", "Star Trek" and "ET" among other music from his favorite movies.  

Your daughter's rendition of "Over the Rainbow" tugged at my heartstrings.  Such a beautiful girl.  With no underlying health issues, it's hard to understand why your daughter and my son were taken from us so young.  Flu, pneumonia....these infections were always curable, or so I thought.  My heart is broken, as I'm sure your heart is also.

Hugs,

Janet

I am praying that Chelsea show herself in a dream for you soon...  I know you will find it comforting to see her and hear her.    I don't know how it happens... but you can hear their voice like they are in the room with you.   :)   She is there and listens...we just need to open our minds to it and let it come in. 

I am so sorry for your loss your daughter was so beautiful, I lost my son 4 months ago today and feel like it was today the pain is so unbearable at times but this site helps you can say what you are feeling and someone will understand because they have been in your shoes where others don't, my best friend knew today i was in bad shape she texted me Tonka would say you have to move on mom i'm gone I didn't even respond she meant well but never has lost a child you can't just move on this part of you has been riped out and nothing can put it back until we are once again reuinited with our child

We all need support, sometimes more than others, and this is one place where we can be assured of finding it.  I had to go into my son's room this morning to get something to bring to his girlfriend tonight.  It almost killed me to do so, and I had to stay home for an extra half an hour before work to compose myself.  There are times when I think I am going to make it, and others when I am certain I will not. 

 

I had an experience one night.  I dream about Tyler frequently, but this was very different.  I was in the hospital in the room where he was lying on the gurney.  I was standing at the foot of the gurney, looking at him and trying to say goodbye, just as I had on that horrible night.  Suddenly from the far corner of the room he came walking towards me, dressed in his suit and tie. He grabbed me in a big bear hug, but his head on my shoulder and just held me tight.  I could feel his back, the fabric of his suit, run my hands through his hair.  He said nothing.  I woke up screaming that he came to me, he came to me.  My husband came in and held me and kept telling me it was just a dream.  But I know it was not.  When I awoke I could still feel his arms holding me so tightly - the feeling didn't go away for about 10 minutes or so.  He never spoke a word, but I could feel joy, love, happiness, thanks, all good things coming from him to me.  I will cherish that moment until the day I am with him again.

 

JoAnn

Cheryl,   I did have a sign from Tommy.   He came to me and told me he was alright.   I was not sure I was dreaming or not, but when I opened my eyes it had only been 10 minutes since I went to bed.   I layed in bed praying... I was praying for that sign like you are wanting.. I prayed to Jesus, God, and then all of the family and friends who I knew had passed on, asking each one of them to get word to Tommy to let me know he was ok.... Strangely, I could see each of their faces so clearly... as if they were in the room with me as I prayed...when I am fully awake in the day... they are foggy and it is hard to remember them clearly.  Well... I saw them all in my mind and begged and suddenly Tommy was there...  I screamed and cried and reached for his hand... he put his cheek on my forehead and held tightly to my hand...  I screamed for David to wake up and see Tommy... "David Tommy is here.. David!   He heard me screaming...  Tommy said I have to go mom... and I asked him if he was ok and he said "I'm ok Mama"  he had a sad look on his face like he knew I was hurting.. then he was gone...  I opened my eyes as looked at the clock....like I said it was only 10 minutes.. I know I was not asleep.. somewhere in between.   I had a heightened sense of awareness for about 10 minutes afterwards and my heart was pounding really hard.    That is my experience... I pray it was real.

Cheryl,  It really does sound like we've been through the same thing!  Todd knew he was very sick when he went to see the doctor because an older co-worker had the same thing and told him to be sure that the doctor prescribed antibiotics.  His co-worker could see that Todd's symptoms were much more severe than his own.  This doctor, I've since learned from nurses who work with her, is very arrogant, ignorant and incompetent.  I didn't know that at the time, although I gathered from listening to my son, who liked most people, that he didn't think much of her competence as a doctor.  If we had any idea how bad she was, we would have brought him to the hospital that day.  But, of course, we didn't know he was THAT sick. 

We didn't order an autopsy for the reasons you mentioned, plus we were in shock. Completely numb and almost unable to speak.  Just like your daughter, Todd didn't have any underlying issues.  The doctors asked if he had smoked, had asthma, or traveled recently to a foreign country.  No, no and no.  He had sepsis too, like your daughter.  I'm so very sad for all of here, missing our children.  Hugs, Janet           

Cheryl,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. 

I recently lost my only daughter, Autumn (I have three sons).  She was living with my niece in an apartment near her college.  My niece is the one that found her. 

Autumn had health issues her whole life, but her death was unexpected.

Everyday is hard to wake up and everyday I think, "I wish the days were shorter."  Before her death I used to think the opposite and wish for more hours in the day.

Also, I'm sorry your ex had to be the way he was during all that you had going on.  You did not need the extra stress.

Autumn had an ex boyfriend at her funeral and was so dramatic and had to hold himself up outside the church with a pillar.  He also posted stuff on his facebook page criticizing where we buried her and also saying critical things of her.  At first I was mad at myself for even telling him of Autumn's death and allowing him to come to the funeral.  Now I've pretty much come to the conclusion he's the one that has to live with himself and he's the one that missed out on not having my daughter in his life before she died.  Some people just don't get it, you know?

Anyway, I'm truly sorry for your loss and am hoping you're able to feel a little peace today.

Cheryl, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter.  I lost my only son, Todd, from complications of pneumonia and acute respiratory distress syndrome in June of 2009.  He had always been healthy before this, which started as a bad cold & cough, which was dismissed by his doctor who told him he "wasn't that sick and didn't have the flu or pneumonia".  When he was rushed to the hospital a few days later, they tested him for everything, including swine flu.  Everything came back negative, but all of his organs began to fail and he died 5 days later.  We always wondered if he might have had swine flu, because we learned of people who had tested negative for it but later, when they died and an autopsy was done, it showed that they did have swine flu.  We didn't have an autopsy done because he was already in the hospital and we were so heartbroken, telling the nurse that it wouldn't "bring him back", but we sometimes wish we had ordered an autopsy report.  I wish you peace and that you find some comfort here.

Janet   

Cheryl - your daughter is a beautiful girl.  I lost my son Tyler, my only child, in January 2010.  He was 24 years old.  You have found friends here.

JoAnn