Chicago Beard
  • Male
  • San Bernardino, CA
  • United States

Chicago Beard's Friends

  • Sheri Dettman
  • Gail Brooks
  • Gretchen G
  • geri hen
  • Cindy
  • Hillary Parsons
  • Marsha H
  • Patricia A. VonBenken
  • joanie london
  • Sheryl McCormick
  • MaggieP
  • Linda C
  • Carol Kayser
  • Ellen Brant
  • Kathy King Kates

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Latest Conversations

Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Dear little sister Marsha What ever choice you make about the wedding is OK. You may have been a last minute invite but they did make the effort to give it to you in person. If all the circumstances are too emotional for you then let them know you…"
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Michael My Rose also suffered cancer which she beat. However, the chemotherapy damaged her heart and that is what eventually took her from me. I am still in contact with her side of the family although none of them live near me. I have almost no…"
Jun 16
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
Jun 15
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Sandfly When Rose passed I called work and told them I was taking the week off. Just sat on the couch with the TV on, not watching. Went back to work and was able to do my job but it was very surreal. It was probably good that I was working in…"
Jun 15
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane Great song with a great message. A message every one of us here would live up to!"
Jun 14
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"I also recommend this site to new widows. I am also a psychotherapist. When I get a new patient who is newly widowed I write the site's URL on my business card. "
Jun 7
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
Jun 7
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Pete Rose and I were also together 37 years as we lived together for a year after getting engaged. We met in February, started dating in April and were engaged in June. Moved in together in August. Married the following June."
Jun 2
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Rose died in 2010. It would be great if we could all get together. A few years ago a number of us tried to arrange to meet in Vegas but it did not come together. I have met a couple of people outside the group and it was really nice. We have…"
Jun 1
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Today would have been Rose and mine 37th anniversary. I still think about her all the time and miss her dearly. She was and is the love of my life."
Jun 1
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Thanks Mary Jane"
May 22
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane Just got a chance to watch the mother's day video from your daughter. Great video! Very cool! Loved the back in the day photos. Your husband was obviously a John Lennon fan. Also I want one of those For A Moment t-shirts. lol"
May 21
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Charles Great post. This group helped me more with my grief than anything I tried including therapy and grief groups. I am a psychotherapist myself and when my Rose passed I learned that I had known nothing about grief in spite of all my years of…"
Apr 14
Gail Brooks and Chicago Beard are now friends
Mar 22
Chicago Beard shared a profile on Facebook
Mar 22
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Hi Gail I grew up in Chicago but moved to California in 1985. When I visit I stay with my goddaughter in Glenview"
Mar 22

Profile Information

Chicago Beard's Blog

The heart wants what the head can't deliver.

Posted on June 7, 2011 at 11:30pm 2 Comments

I have been a psychotherapist since 1975. I have spoken to many people who came to me about how the  head and the heart are not always in sync. I am living that in real time these days. My head knows that Rose is dead and not coming back but my heart refuses to accept it. I get in my car, turn on the radio and start crying. I tell her how much I miss her all the time. I went to a concert we both would have enjoyed and all I could think about was how much she would have liked it.The waves just… Continue

Comment Wall (17 comments)

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At 12:20pm on February 6, 2017, Gretchen G said…

Hi Chicago!  Ethan's a good little traveler, so we can drive wherever.  I'll start looking at dates to see if we can maybe work something out with others in the area - maybe sometime in April?  My schedule is limited to weekends, but I would think that'd be the same for most people.

At 4:08pm on July 31, 2011, Barbara Wasilewski said…

I hope you had a good day .

My days are so lonely.


At 4:06pm on July 31, 2011, Barbara Wasilewski said…
At 6:34pm on July 25, 2011, Marsha H said…

Hi Chicago Beard ...


Thanks for letting me know about ulcerated colitis.  I think I have GERD.  I have done much research in the past two months re grief and find that everything in our body goes wacko (hormonal) when we are grieving.  I can certainly believe it.  I'll be seeing the doc on Tuesday and as far as looking for another doc our system in British Columbia has a shortage of GP's and other docs and feeling as I do I just can't climb one more mountain of bureaucracy while still grieving for my beloved spouse.  One thing I have learned ... God is either going to get me through this or it's time for me to go and as strange as that sounds it does bring some comfort as far as taking the stress off me and hopefully others.  I was strong before and I will be again.  Thank you to everyone on here for your kind support as it has saved me from going totally over the edge.


Love and my prayers to everyone here



At 8:57pm on June 2, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
Read your post about your anniversary.  I am glad it wasn't as difficult as you expected and that you are making some progress in the grieving process.  I haven't had to deal with the anniversary yet - my husband's birthday is on Father's Day though.  I am not looking forward to that day at all...
At 12:32am on May 29, 2011, Carol Kayser said…

Thank you so much for your kind words and good suggestion.  Isn't that true, so much easier to talk with strangers, with counsellors, than your own family.  Things get so complicated.  When you read other posts also they do reflect the same issues, that is feeling like a burden, being afraid to ask for help, not wanting to, etc.   We had a happier day today and she is expecting a baby any day now and emotions are pretty visible.  She and I started talking about her dad and she said how sad she was that she couldn't be sharing her happiness and the baby with her dad but then we both said that he was watching from heaven and he would know he will have a beautiful and loving grandchild who will remind us of him and his kind heart.

Do you like to read?  I find it so helpful and comforting to me.   Yes, nothing is the same any more, but each day I know my dear sweetheart is right there with me, bringing me through on those rough days and supporting me thru the others.


p.s. you look like such a cute couple! a fun and loving relationship.






At 9:47am on May 26, 2011, Patricia A. VonBenken said…
I agree, I feel that I am on a roller coaster every day.  The ups and downs, there seems to be more downs than ups.  The next few weeks are going to be difficult, June 19 is our wedding anniversay - it would have been seven years (together for 20), then I have his birthday July 1st, he would have been 57.  I usually just hole up in the house during this time, not want to go or do anything.  But this year my grandchildren talked me into taking them on vacation in June, so I will be with them which does help.  If I am rambling I am sorry, its just that this seems to be the only place I can discuss how I am feeling without hearing, get over it, its been 2.5 years, you need to move on.  All I can say to them is that I hope you never have to go through this and if you do, let me see you move on.
At 9:42pm on May 9, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
What a good description: Grief comes in waves. That so describes it for me. Anywhere from a lap to a tsunami. I often think of a roller coaster....
At 2:49pm on May 9, 2011, joanie london said…
Thank you for your comment. May god bless you.
At 7:50pm on May 2, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
It would depend on when, etc.  I help raise two grandchildren who have cystic fibrosis.  Their mother died 5 1/2 years ago so my husband and I were helping our youngest son raise our grandchildren.  He was taking them to school Nov. 5th when they were in an accident with a semi that killed my husband.  Thankfully the children were okay (physcially) emotionally this has been very hard on them.  They are so afraid I might die now.

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