Chicago Beard
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  • San Bernardino, CA
  • United States
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Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane If you are in Lake Tahoe (one of Rose and mines favorite places) you are a 12 hour drive. Enjoy the wedding and the peacefulness of the lake. Don't lose too much in the casinos."
Aug 3
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane Where in California? I live about 60 miles East of LA."
Aug 1
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane Define young. I turn 68 on the 31st of July."
Jul 7
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Deborah As you said, everyone grieves in their own way. As far as dating goes do not concern yourself about if or when to start dating. Listen to your feelings on this. Your gut tells you no but your dreams may indicate a subconscious wish to do so.…"
Jul 7
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane I do not discount reincarnation. People have been put in touch with past lives through hypnosis. I tend to think that if reincarnation is true we do not know we have all been here before or there would be a lot more people claiming it.…"
Jul 4
Chicago Beard and Mary. Jane are now friends
Jul 4
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane Mazel Tov on the great news. Very happy for you!"
Jul 2
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"DJ Precious cargo indeed!"
Jun 10
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Charles Thanks for the kind words. When it is said do not live in the past (at least by therapists) it does not mean forget it just means do not let the past keep you from experiencing the present. Our memories are all we have of our loved ones so…"
Jun 10
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
Jun 7
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Hello friends Today would have been our 38th anniversary. My current lady is across country visiting her children so I had to deal with my memories alone. I believe my Rose was with me today and played a prank on me to let me know. I would say what…"
Jun 1
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane Having suffered with Ulcerative Colitis for over 10 years before I had my colon removed and have an Ileostomy I have had quite a few colonoscopies. The prep is much worse  than the procedure because they sedate you for the procedure.…"
May 31
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Trina Finally got around to looking at your paintings. The colors are very vibrant and jump out at you. I like them a lot. Good job!"
May 2
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
Mar 13
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane Just read your comment about moving and going through things. I can only imagine how you feel. When I went through Rose's clothes I cried like I did on the day she died. The wound is still raw and having to revisit any part of your…"
Feb 12
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Thought this summed things up very well!"
Feb 1

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Chicago Beard's Blog

The heart wants what the head can't deliver.

Posted on June 7, 2011 at 11:30pm 2 Comments

I have been a psychotherapist since 1975. I have spoken to many people who came to me about how the  head and the heart are not always in sync. I am living that in real time these days. My head knows that Rose is dead and not coming back but my heart refuses to accept it. I get in my car, turn on the radio and start crying. I tell her how much I miss her all the time. I went to a concert we both would have enjoyed and all I could think about was how much she would have liked it.The waves just… Continue

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At 12:20pm on February 6, 2017, Gretchen G said…

Hi Chicago!  Ethan's a good little traveler, so we can drive wherever.  I'll start looking at dates to see if we can maybe work something out with others in the area - maybe sometime in April?  My schedule is limited to weekends, but I would think that'd be the same for most people.

At 4:08pm on July 31, 2011, Barbara Wasilewski said…

I hope you had a good day .

My days are so lonely.

Barbara

At 4:06pm on July 31, 2011, Barbara Wasilewski said…
At 6:34pm on July 25, 2011, Marsha H said…

Hi Chicago Beard ...

 

Thanks for letting me know about ulcerated colitis.  I think I have GERD.  I have done much research in the past two months re grief and find that everything in our body goes wacko (hormonal) when we are grieving.  I can certainly believe it.  I'll be seeing the doc on Tuesday and as far as looking for another doc our system in British Columbia has a shortage of GP's and other docs and feeling as I do I just can't climb one more mountain of bureaucracy while still grieving for my beloved spouse.  One thing I have learned ... God is either going to get me through this or it's time for me to go and as strange as that sounds it does bring some comfort as far as taking the stress off me and hopefully others.  I was strong before and I will be again.  Thank you to everyone on here for your kind support as it has saved me from going totally over the edge.

 

Love and my prayers to everyone here

 

Marcy

At 8:57pm on June 2, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
Read your post about your anniversary.  I am glad it wasn't as difficult as you expected and that you are making some progress in the grieving process.  I haven't had to deal with the anniversary yet - my husband's birthday is on Father's Day though.  I am not looking forward to that day at all...
At 12:32am on May 29, 2011, Carol Kayser said…

Thank you so much for your kind words and good suggestion.  Isn't that true, so much easier to talk with strangers, with counsellors, than your own family.  Things get so complicated.  When you read other posts also they do reflect the same issues, that is feeling like a burden, being afraid to ask for help, not wanting to, etc.   We had a happier day today and she is expecting a baby any day now and emotions are pretty visible.  She and I started talking about her dad and she said how sad she was that she couldn't be sharing her happiness and the baby with her dad but then we both said that he was watching from heaven and he would know he will have a beautiful and loving grandchild who will remind us of him and his kind heart.

Do you like to read?  I find it so helpful and comforting to me.   Yes, nothing is the same any more, but each day I know my dear sweetheart is right there with me, bringing me through on those rough days and supporting me thru the others.

 

p.s. you look like such a cute couple! a fun and loving relationship.

 

Hugs,

Carol

 

 

At 9:47am on May 26, 2011, Patricia A. VonBenken said…
I agree, I feel that I am on a roller coaster every day.  The ups and downs, there seems to be more downs than ups.  The next few weeks are going to be difficult, June 19 is our wedding anniversay - it would have been seven years (together for 20), then I have his birthday July 1st, he would have been 57.  I usually just hole up in the house during this time, not want to go or do anything.  But this year my grandchildren talked me into taking them on vacation in June, so I will be with them which does help.  If I am rambling I am sorry, its just that this seems to be the only place I can discuss how I am feeling without hearing, get over it, its been 2.5 years, you need to move on.  All I can say to them is that I hope you never have to go through this and if you do, let me see you move on.
At 9:42pm on May 9, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
What a good description: Grief comes in waves. That so describes it for me. Anywhere from a lap to a tsunami. I often think of a roller coaster....
At 2:49pm on May 9, 2011, joanie london said…
Thank you for your comment. May god bless you.
At 7:50pm on May 2, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
It would depend on when, etc.  I help raise two grandchildren who have cystic fibrosis.  Their mother died 5 1/2 years ago so my husband and I were helping our youngest son raise our grandchildren.  He was taking them to school Nov. 5th when they were in an accident with a semi that killed my husband.  Thankfully the children were okay (physcially) emotionally this has been very hard on them.  They are so afraid I might die now.
 
 
 

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