Chicago Beard
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  • San Bernardino, CA
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Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane As far as your driving goes I am 4'11", so two inches taller than you. Today's cars get you up close enough and the seats are adjustable enough to get you over the steering wheel. You are right about the other drivers …"
22 hours ago
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane I do not regret falling in love with my current lady. I found myself super lonely so I actually went and joined some dating sites. I was just saying I do not know if I would take the risk for a third time. I know life is basically a series…"
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"This evening I went to see my adopted niece dance in the Nutcracker. She did very well. My Rose and I had seen her every week since she came home from the hospital until just before my Rose passed. They were extremely close. All I could think of…"
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Deborah I understand totally. I am in a committed relationship currently and have actually thought that if I outlive my lady I could not get into a relationship again. My heart could not take it. Cut your sister some slack. She is trying to help and…"
Chicago Beard left a comment for Carrie Ballou
"Welcome Carrie, I have been a member since 2010 and this group helped me with my grief more than anything or anyone else. This group is caring, informative and supportive."
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
Dec 1
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Trina Thanks. I felt the same way when I saw it which is why I copied and pasted it here."
Nov 19
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
Nov 19
Chicago Beard and David Heggi are now friends
Nov 18
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Have been reading the posts about not being included in family affairs once our loved one passed away. That is one area where I was blessed. I was treated the same even though it was my Rose that everyone liked more than me. Everyone has also…"
Nov 2
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Deborah Well said!"
Oct 15
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"having issues with the comment button. It also sucks!"
Oct 5
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Steve and Deborah Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Oct 5
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Mary Jane Grief is a process and we handle it different ways at different times. It is OK to use the "D" word if you need to. Venting is always good and doing it here is the safest place to do so."
Sep 21
Chicago Beard commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Marsha Just read your story. What an asshat. So sorry your dog missed."
Sep 20

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Chicago Beard's Blog

The heart wants what the head can't deliver.

Posted on June 7, 2011 at 11:30pm 2 Comments

I have been a psychotherapist since 1975. I have spoken to many people who came to me about how the  head and the heart are not always in sync. I am living that in real time these days. My head knows that Rose is dead and not coming back but my heart refuses to accept it. I get in my car, turn on the radio and start crying. I tell her how much I miss her all the time. I went to a concert we both would have enjoyed and all I could think about was how much she would have liked it.The waves just… Continue

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At 12:20pm on February 6, 2017, Gretchen G said…

Hi Chicago!  Ethan's a good little traveler, so we can drive wherever.  I'll start looking at dates to see if we can maybe work something out with others in the area - maybe sometime in April?  My schedule is limited to weekends, but I would think that'd be the same for most people.

At 4:08pm on July 31, 2011, Barbara Wasilewski said…

I hope you had a good day .

My days are so lonely.


At 4:06pm on July 31, 2011, Barbara Wasilewski said…
At 6:34pm on July 25, 2011, Marsha H said…

Hi Chicago Beard ...


Thanks for letting me know about ulcerated colitis.  I think I have GERD.  I have done much research in the past two months re grief and find that everything in our body goes wacko (hormonal) when we are grieving.  I can certainly believe it.  I'll be seeing the doc on Tuesday and as far as looking for another doc our system in British Columbia has a shortage of GP's and other docs and feeling as I do I just can't climb one more mountain of bureaucracy while still grieving for my beloved spouse.  One thing I have learned ... God is either going to get me through this or it's time for me to go and as strange as that sounds it does bring some comfort as far as taking the stress off me and hopefully others.  I was strong before and I will be again.  Thank you to everyone on here for your kind support as it has saved me from going totally over the edge.


Love and my prayers to everyone here



At 8:57pm on June 2, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
Read your post about your anniversary.  I am glad it wasn't as difficult as you expected and that you are making some progress in the grieving process.  I haven't had to deal with the anniversary yet - my husband's birthday is on Father's Day though.  I am not looking forward to that day at all...
At 12:32am on May 29, 2011, Carol Kayser said…

Thank you so much for your kind words and good suggestion.  Isn't that true, so much easier to talk with strangers, with counsellors, than your own family.  Things get so complicated.  When you read other posts also they do reflect the same issues, that is feeling like a burden, being afraid to ask for help, not wanting to, etc.   We had a happier day today and she is expecting a baby any day now and emotions are pretty visible.  She and I started talking about her dad and she said how sad she was that she couldn't be sharing her happiness and the baby with her dad but then we both said that he was watching from heaven and he would know he will have a beautiful and loving grandchild who will remind us of him and his kind heart.

Do you like to read?  I find it so helpful and comforting to me.   Yes, nothing is the same any more, but each day I know my dear sweetheart is right there with me, bringing me through on those rough days and supporting me thru the others.


p.s. you look like such a cute couple! a fun and loving relationship.






At 9:47am on May 26, 2011, Patricia A. VonBenken said…
I agree, I feel that I am on a roller coaster every day.  The ups and downs, there seems to be more downs than ups.  The next few weeks are going to be difficult, June 19 is our wedding anniversay - it would have been seven years (together for 20), then I have his birthday July 1st, he would have been 57.  I usually just hole up in the house during this time, not want to go or do anything.  But this year my grandchildren talked me into taking them on vacation in June, so I will be with them which does help.  If I am rambling I am sorry, its just that this seems to be the only place I can discuss how I am feeling without hearing, get over it, its been 2.5 years, you need to move on.  All I can say to them is that I hope you never have to go through this and if you do, let me see you move on.
At 9:42pm on May 9, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
What a good description: Grief comes in waves. That so describes it for me. Anywhere from a lap to a tsunami. I often think of a roller coaster....
At 2:49pm on May 9, 2011, joanie london said…
Thank you for your comment. May god bless you.
At 7:50pm on May 2, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…
It would depend on when, etc.  I help raise two grandchildren who have cystic fibrosis.  Their mother died 5 1/2 years ago so my husband and I were helping our youngest son raise our grandchildren.  He was taking them to school Nov. 5th when they were in an accident with a semi that killed my husband.  Thankfully the children were okay (physcially) emotionally this has been very hard on them.  They are so afraid I might die now.

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