Welcome Christina, I am so sorry for your loss. I have had 5 months on this site and have found it a very good support group that can really understand what you are really feeling as they have all had similar loses. Understanding the intense pain and grief that only someone that has gone through it.
I'm so very sorry for your loss that has brought you here. I just want to welcome you, and tell you that here you will find, as I did two months ago, many people who are like angels - full of loving compassion and understanding, and who will listen to you and help in whatver way they can. Christina, you have come to the right place, and please know that you are not alone.