Christine Bentley
  • Female
  • Foothill Ranch, CA
  • United States
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At 9:36pm on November 2, 2009, Latisa Carter said…
I am very sorry for your lost. I know the process you are going through. Life without your parent is very difficult . I still cry and it has almost been a year and I feel so lost and lonely. I wish our family could find comfort. I need guidance and support. I just wish death did not happen.
At 9:28pm on November 2, 2009, Latisa Carter said…
December 7, 2008 my mother was taken from my family and we struggle to live to this day. I went to her house to take her breakfast and I did not even think about her not answering her phone. I walked to her room to le t her know I had her and my son breakfast. As I turned on the light I seen her but I did not realize she had past. She normally would moan or move when I called her name but she just lay still. I finally realized she had past and I lost it. I screamed her name and open the door to where my son was to tall him she was gone. I called my siblings and best friends but could not reach everyone So I told my son to call everyone. I just lost it. I had so many regrets because for one my mother had aksed me to spend the night she had only been out of the hospital for six days I was so consumed with my own life I had just left my 14 year old son with her and promised breakfast in the morning. GOD knows if I would have only known. I took her living for granted. I still can’t believe it, I pray this is just a dream. My mother was my world I talked to her every day. She was always there for me. She raised us all to be a close knot family and we are. It is seven of us, 19 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren. Everyday day of my life a part of me dies because I should have stayed. She was a wonderful mother and life without her is confusing. I can’t understand why this is happening to us. It has almost been a year and things still have not gotten better. Lord lift us from this phase because we are dying inside.
At 8:39pm on October 27, 2009, Shannon said…
I think when you are as young as we are, I know for me, I find that I am the first one in my friends to experience this, and so no one really understands what I am going through. It is unbelieveably hard!! My husband has never lost anyone, so it is hard for him to. There is comfort in finding others. I remember feeling like I was going to die after we found my dad. I never in a million years expected it, or could have imagined living my life without him. But you are right, you will get through. It takes time. I know it is going to take me, personally, a lot of time. Find comfort in talking about your mom as much as possible, and find comfort in those who just listen. You will find that helps you to heal.
At 5:28pm on October 26, 2009, Shannon said…
Hi Christine,

I am so sorry about your mom. I lost my dad Feb 28th of this year, he was a great friend, a great dad and a great person. My heart has never been so broken before. I can relate to what you are saying about how will it be put back together and that you know you need to keep going, but it is so hard. It has been almost 8 months to the day since my dad passed and not a day goes by that I don't miss him more than anyone can understand. It is overwhelming. He was also 61. I am 34. He passed in his sleep. I wish there was something that I could say to let you know that it will get easier, I think it is different as time goes on, I don't know that it is "easier". When someone you love so much is gone, there just isn't a way to fill that void. You just have to learn to make the best of what you had with that person, and be thankful for the relationship and the love.

I wish you the best in your healing. It isn't easy, but you will get there, in your own time.
At 11:40am on October 23, 2009, Cathy Cooper said…
I have been coming home from work and since I have a 16 year old girl and 19 year old boy they are busy with their friends lately. I walk and talk to my parents, eat dinner, take a mild sleeping pill and go to sleep at 9 or 10. I don't like all this down time.
My Dad drove me nuts sometimes too. Very funny but opinionated and blunt too. But I miss him so much.
I almost don't want to date right now because I don't want to get close to someone and feel this again should they pass. Seems silly.
I have an 85 year old friend in Maine. My Mom was from Maine and the lady Barbie is the unofficial town historian. She is a very heathy and happy lady. I asked her about my Mom as she knew her when she was young. She comforted me when a friend of mine died and when my Dad passed. She says unfortunately, as we get older the more people we will know that will die.
She has had her share of death. She says she misses those who have died but thinks of heaven as a garden where she will meet up with those people who have made her world special.
I hope this is true.
At 10:22am on October 23, 2009, Cathy Cooper said…
I am so sorry, Christine. I said goodbye to my Dad Oct. 3rd and I saw his dead body but I did not discover him dead, like you did. I understand how you feel; I feel lost, too.
My Dad was my world since my Mom died many years ago.
I was close to my Mom but didn't really know my father. I got to know him as a person with feelings after she died.
I'm divorced so for the past 20 years, I have gone to his house for dinner with my kids foron Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays.
There is a book called 'The Mourning Handbook' that has helped me alot.
The lady who wrote it lost her husband and it contains ways of coping with your grief.
There are herbal medications for stress and anxiety out there too, if you think you might need them.
My heart goes out to you!
 
 
 

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