Christopher Ruggles
  • Male
  • Peoria, AZ
  • United States
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Christopher Ruggles's Blog

Bah Humbug!

Posted on December 18, 2012 at 12:14am 0 Comments

We are at the center of possibly the hardest part of the year for most of us; the holidays.  The first holidays after I lost Barry were hard, but I had made the decision not to allow my grief to keep me in bed.  I got out of bed and I celebrated each in the ways that I wanted!  I didn't allow my family to dictate my agenda.  I went out and did the things I wanted to do.  I went to the movies, I drove around, I met with friends, etc.  I created new, happy memories.  At the same time, I kept…

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U-Haul

Posted on December 7, 2012 at 12:30am 1 Comment

Sometimes I wish I could rent one of those trucks and pack up all the pain and sorrow in my heart.  It would take several to do the job.  Grief is quite possibly the hardest and heaviest burden to bear. It is something that many of us feel we have to carry alone.  That is only partially true.  The path of grief is ours alone to walk, but we can have company from time to time so that the path isn't quite so lonely.  

There are people in our lives who want to help us heal, to…

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Communication Is Key

Posted on November 29, 2012 at 4:49pm 0 Comments

When that vessel that holds our divine spark shatters after experiencing loss, everything kind of goes haywire.  Our emotions run rampant, our memory becomes swiss cheese, and often times we don't say what we mean.  The last one isn't intentional, it just happens.  I think it's a combination of the first two that causes our basic communication skills to basically shut down.  In our heads we're thinking one thing; out of our mouths comes something either incomprehensible or sugar coated so we…

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The Strange Things To Come

Posted on November 19, 2012 at 2:07pm 0 Comments

Grief does very strange things to us, both physically and mentally.  Our emotions change in a fraction of a second, often making us feel like we're either going completely mad or we're schizophrenic.  Physically, after the initial loss, we have that sensation of having a large empty space in our chest.

One of the things that are the most difficult to get through, are the physical habits we had.  Specifically, having another person next to us in bed.  That physical act affects…

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At 5:46am on September 19, 2011, Roy E. Hunt said…
Hello, Christopher. It was a rough week, leading up to a memorial service we had for Brad on Saturday.  About 30 of us met at the beach we always went to and sat in beach chairs and told "Brad stories." Then we floated his ashes out to sea.  After that we went for dinner and drinks at our favorite restaurant. I felt a little relieved at the end of the evening, almost calm, but then the next day it hit me - the finality of it all.  Fortunately, I found a very funny BBC series on Netflix and I was able to laugh and forget the sorrow for several hours. I knew that the service was not going to end all of my sorrow, but I had hoped that it would bring some closure. I guess nothing is as easy as that when it comes to grieving. How are you doing? I see from your write-up that your grief is almost as new as mine. I hope that reaching out, to people on this site as well as others, has helped you as much as it has me. The little daily exercises I get from the Anderson-McQueen website are particularly helpful, in that they give me something positive to do every day to deal with the loss. And Jeanne is always there for us on this site - it's a real blessing to get her little messages every once in awhile, just when you think everyone has forgotten about you.  I'm here for you also, so please keep in touch.
At 5:44am on September 19, 2011, William Kotowski said…
Hello Christopher:  Thanks for checking in.  At this moment I am doing pretty good.  I went away by myself to a friend's lake house for a while.  I spent a lot of time reflecting and reading.  I am still learning a lot about this "process", I find the more I learn the more my feelings make sense.  I hope you are doing well and caring for yourself.
 
 
 

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