Yesterday I was seeking answers as to my current purpose- I feel so incapable of even caring for myself much less others. When I got off work I went home & randomly opened my bible only to find 1Timothy 4 and 5, which answered my question so perfectly! It spoke about widows, what they should do and how they should live! Then I woke again this morning as always, in a panic and heard a quiet voice telling me that Larry is great, that I and my family are healthy and safe and well cared for and that I have nothing to be panicked over! Praise God! I have so much to be thankful for. It is so easy to be consumed by sorrow, grief and lonliness, but I have to remember that God loves me and He has promised to be a father to the fatherless and care for widows. He will sustain us- our needs will be met. Fear not, lest ye be afraid for I am with you
Three years and one month ago I found myself facing the most painful event of my life alone. Death was unfamiliar to me, and a strong, young man at the height of his career with his personal goals at an all time high was suddenly taken from us as the result of someone else' negligence. For over a year I cried every single morning upon waking. His bathrobe hung on the door where he left it until just a month ago. Most of his things remain tucked in his drawers and on his side of the closet.…Continue
I'm feeling a bit lost. I came here as I have from time to time over the past three years to find solace with others who have lost a part of themselves too. Losing and feeling lost goes hand & hand now.
I can see that over these past few years I have grown. I have triumphed and failed over big and small challenges. I am here. I have been enlightened. I've seen God's hand at work in so many areas. It's amazing to witness and yet, mostly I am at a loss for words- completely unable…Continue
I felt compelled to come here today, not realizing that I had been here as recently as a few weeks ago. I feel much the same way today as I did then. I miss him and my heart aches. I hate not having him here to cheer me on, provide advice, feel the warmth of his touch & smile, .... My house has gone from being full with 6 full time occupants to 2 and it's rough. My stepson has called me on all important days like his father's birthday, Easter, & Mother's Day, which felt so good! He…Continue
It's been a year and a half since Larry left for work, left this world, left all of us he loved & loved him. It's still beyond painful. I haven't seen my stepson in 6 months as of May 1st. Larry's 40th birthday would have been April 15th. I have been surving many tears much like I did in the beginning, but honestly, there are only rare days when I feel as if I am really progressing. I miss him more than anyone outside this grp would ever imagine. He's gone, as I sd my stepson is now…Continue
I have completed 1 full year without the most important person in my life. It has been surreal. I still find it difficult to believe that this is the way it is. Death is not supposed to happen. I feel kind of like a fake- like I'm not really here living a life- I just look like I am to some people who don't know better. I have aged a good bit over the past year. Larry was 8 yrs younger than me & always sd. he was keeping me young, to which I would reply I looked older next to his baby…Continue