Colleen I feel the same way you do people think because we go on with our daily lives that were better but I miss my andy more and more as time goes by, In the summer I will travel back to Michigan to visit my family and I'm kind of dreading that day I have not been back there since my Andy passed, my husband thinks I'm putting this heavy burden on myself but I've told him If he was Andy's biological father he would understand the pain I feel so I just cry to myself and grieve in private, we have to continue to help each other along...................
Hey colleen I am here to feel better i suppose although nothing seems to work. I know we are all in this place of tears forever. I read a little bit and had someone send me books on the afterlife. But I never really believed that. I never believed something this tragic could ever happen to me or him. but it did and now I am here talking to strangers but compatable friends people who feel like I do I hope your christmas is ok and new years I will be crying everyday.. It doesn't get better though I don't cry with all the thoughts the thoughts are overwhelming and sad.. He wasn't sad I am.. carrie L
my son had a reaction to the drug methodone, they found a small trace of that plus ambien(sleeping aid) plus i was told he had pnemonia which we had no idea he was sick he never let on...he had been in a car wreck about 2 yrs ago, and hurt his shoulder so he had been taking pain meds from time to time, but got addicted. this pain clinic here kept prescribing massive quantities to him without even checking him over never one MRI was done...these pain clinics are all over the state, and they get so many people addicted, and just so many young people are over dosing...i wish i would have known the extent of his pill usage so i could have intervened, but i was stupid to that kind of thing...they know how to hide their addiction...he had alot of personel things mount up on him with a divorce, and an ex-wife who would not let him see his son, and spend time with him... her family was always against him, and i think he may have kept taking the meds to cope with his problems...Robby's story is a long one, and would take me a long time to tell someone, but i will tell you this he was a good guy, just got knocked around alot over the last 3 yrs...i miss him so much that the pain is so deep i can hardly breathe most of the time...sorry to ramble on like this it's just that i really don't have anyone to talk to, rather anyone who wants to listen to me...i am so sorry about your Robby. how old was he???did he have any symptoms of the illness???we just never know when this can happen, it is the biggest heartache we will ever know...please take care, and thanks for listening to me.. one more thing talk to your Robby it does help some...tammy
It has been 9 months since Robby died, I feel the loss of him every day, It hasn't lessened with time, but the pain of the loss has increased. Everyone feels or thinks I should be over it, is that because I am getting dressed, or going out shopping, I am not over it! That is so crazy, because we all here, in this group, know that will never be the case. We all are here for the same reason, we lost a child, it doesn't matter how old they were or how long ago it was, we feel the pain as if it were yesterday, and yes my friends we do go on, we just cry inside, and weep in silence. Sadly missing Robby!
Hi colleen I am sorry you lost your son. As me too. I don't ever want to get over it. Love is too precious for that. I didn't have enouph time with him ... I feel I could have done something anything. I never thought this would happen. so nieve. Carrie L
Colleen....I know very well about the haunting part. I should have left work when I was suppose to, but as always I stayed til I was done. Jennie use to always be on me about leaving when my shift was over and giving the work to someone else, but I'm not that kind of person. So yes, there are the what if only I would have left when I was suppose to, then I would have been there and would have gotten her out. I know I would have, even though others said I probably would have died also, but I don't think so. And like you, I did get pictures, at least I have those and a few little things that the girls made when they were younger, besides that, I lost everything else. So I know exactly what you are going through and how you feel. I'm kinda in the anger stage and still in the disbelief stage. It is so hard to explain, the confusion and feeling lost is still there, maybe a little less, but still there. I'm trying, that is all I can say.
Colleen.....I know how you feel.....everyone says that I should be over it now...my daughter, Jennie, passed away from a fire in our home on New Years Eve 2008. I couldn't get in to get her and I will regret that for the rest of my life. Yes, I've been told I probably would have died to, but you can't help the what ifs, no matter what anyone says..... It seems like the first year is numbness and disbelief. I've been told that the 2nd and 3rd are worse and yes I will admit into this 2nd year it has been bad. The disbelief is still there and I'm having a problem accepting it.... I miss her so much and want her back so badly. And on top of it losing our home and everything I owned doesn't help. I just don't understand..I talked to her on the way home from work and within 10 mins my whole life has changed. There will never be getting back to "normal"....now we have a "new normal" we have to learn to live with. And it is very hard. I'm glad I found this site, which I'm sure you are also. And it was not a site I ever dreamed of wanting to participate in. As they say the club that no one wants to join. You are in my thoughts and prayers...Linda