Just to let you know I am there with you.  Lost my adult son on 12-25-09.

Some days I still think it can't be real.   I think we have to learn to life with this sadness forever.  We smile, do daily things, try to find joy again but the loss is and always will be with us.

Hugs coming your way from one Mom to another who has suffered this loss.

Susan   Donny's Mom

Colleen I feel the same way you do people think because we go on with our daily lives that were better but I miss my andy more and more as time goes by, In the summer I will travel back to Michigan to visit my family and I'm kind of dreading that day I have not been back there since my Andy passed, my husband thinks I'm putting this heavy burden on myself but I've told him If he was Andy's biological father he would understand the pain I feel so I just cry to myself and grieve in private, we have to continue to help each other along...................

Hey colleen I am here to feel better i suppose although nothing seems to work. I know we are all in this place of tears forever. I read a little bit and had someone send me books on the afterlife. But I never really believed that. I never believed something this tragic could ever happen to me or him. but it did and now I am here talking to strangers but compatable friends people who feel like I do I hope your christmas is ok and new years I will be crying everyday.. It doesn't get better though I don't cry with all the thoughts the thoughts are overwhelming and sad.. He wasn't sad I am.. carrie L

Colleen. So sorry for your loss. Hugs and Prayers, Garry

my son had a reaction to the drug methodone, they found a small trace of that plus ambien(sleeping aid) plus i was told he had pnemonia which we had no idea he was sick he never let on...he had been in a car wreck about 2 yrs ago, and hurt his shoulder so he had been taking pain meds from time to time, but got addicted. this pain clinic here kept prescribing massive quantities to him without even checking him over never one MRI was done...these pain clinics are all over the state, and they get so many people addicted, and just so many young people are over dosing...i wish i would have known the extent of his pill usage so i could have intervened, but i was stupid to that kind of thing...they know how to hide their addiction...he had alot of personel things mount up on him with a divorce, and an ex-wife who would not let him see his son, and spend time with him... her family was always against him, and i think he may have kept taking the meds to cope with his problems...Robby's story is a long one, and would take me a long time to tell someone, but i will tell you this he was a good guy, just got knocked around alot over the last 3 yrs...i miss him so much that the pain is so deep i can hardly breathe most of the time...sorry to ramble on like this it's just that i really don't have anyone to talk to, rather anyone who wants to listen to me...i am so sorry about your Robby. how old was he???did he have any symptoms of the illness???we just never know when this can happen, it is the biggest heartache we will ever know...please take care, and thanks for listening to me.. one more thing talk to your Robby it does help some...tammy

colleen, thank you for your words...my son's name was Robby, and he passed away 9 months ago also.. when i read your page, and saw that my heart sank... could i ask how it happened???

Hi colleen I am sorry you lost your son. As me too. I don't ever want to get over it. Love is too precious for that. I didn't have enouph time with him ... I feel I could have done something anything. I never thought this would happen. so nieve. Carrie L

Colleen....I know very well about the haunting part. I should have left work when I was suppose to, but as always I stayed til I was done. Jennie use to always be on me about leaving when my shift was over and giving the work to someone else, but I'm not that kind of person. So yes, there are the what if only I would have left when I was suppose to, then I would have been there and would have gotten her out. I know I would have, even though others said I probably would have died also, but I don't think so. And like you, I did get pictures, at least I have those and a few little things that the girls made when they were younger, besides that, I lost everything else. So I know exactly what you are going through and how you feel. I'm kinda in the anger stage and still in the disbelief stage. It is so hard to explain, the confusion and feeling lost is still there, maybe a little less, but still there. I'm trying, that is all I can say.