Corey
  • Female
  • Bellmawr, NJ
  • United States
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Brad Block replied to Corey's discussion Struggling with reality in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Corey, Sorry for your loss.  I know my mom has kept a recording of one of my dad's voice messages for years and it's weird, sobering, great to hear it.  We just saw some video also that we;ve actually never seen before.  I…"
Apr 30
Diamond replied to Corey's discussion Struggling with reality in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Hello Corey - losing a loved one is the most profound pain ever.  However, your daily feeling is normal as we all try to hold onto that which reminds us of how near and dear that person was to our heart.  Wanting to hear their voice and…"
Mar 29
Corey commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Marsha I'm so sorry to hear about your problems with your doctor. I'm sure it makes it worse not having much support from your family. I have lots or family around and everything is still a daily struggle. Good luck. Sara, I get how hard…"
Mar 1
Corey commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Aw Tiffany, I'm so sorry. Maybe it will end up being a good thing in terms of closure but now I'm sure it just makes the pain worse, as if that's even possible. I'm glad you shared. Sending hugs"
Feb 17
Marsha H replied to Corey's discussion Struggling with reality in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Corey ...  I am so very sorry you are fearful of your children forgetting their father, but believe me they have not.  Adults grieve a little different than children.  I believe in a family that each person in that family is trying to…"
Feb 14
DJ replied to Corey's discussion Struggling with reality in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Corey; our kids were in their 20's when my wife / their mother died... I have no fear they will forget her; I regularly talk about her, and whenever they uncover a photo they post it on FB. I happened upon voicemails of hers when I finally got…"
Feb 14
Sara Murphy replied to Corey's discussion Struggling with reality in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Corey.....Just today I was listening to saved voice messages from my husband because I need to hear his voice every now and then.  Calling your husband's phone to hear his message is normal. You're doing the right things by talking…"
Feb 13
Chicago Beard replied to Corey's discussion Struggling with reality in the group Bereaved Spouses
"You are doing the perfect thing bringing up memories. Make sure his pictures never go away. Talking about him keeps his memory alive for them as hard as it is for you."
Feb 12
Corey added a discussion to the group Bereaved Spouses
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Struggling with reality

So the past few nights I've called my husbands cell just to hear his voice. It makes me even sadder, didn't realize that was possible but I long to hear him once again. He was a musician so I have some music and that's amazing but it's not the same. That voice that I heard every day for over 10 years is now gone forever. Each day seems to be harder, getting worse admitting to the fact that this life that I never asked for is now my reality. There are new fears creeping in my head like what if…See More
Feb 12
Corey commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Thank you Marsha, you give me some hope for the future. And I think the card and balloon idea is beautiful, not crazy."
Feb 6
Corey commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"I can relate to the double life feeling as well. (I'll be honest, it makes me so sad to know that even years down the road I'll still be feeling this). I am a kindergarten teacher and have 2 young kids soI have two different…"
Feb 5
Corey commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Tiffany that just sucks, I'm sorry she's giving you a hard time. My father in law was very shut off from me and my kids for a while bc it was just too painful for him to deal with. It is a different kind of pain then what they're…"
Jan 26
Corey replied to Tiffany Phillips's discussion Nine days and a whirlwind of emotions. in the group Bereaved Spouses
"That "what if..." is really a terrible thing. I go through it all the time. And the other thing about how can such good people leave us so soon...another thing I think about every day. It's not fair and it just sucks! I wish I had…"
Jan 25
Corey replied to Tiffany Phillips's discussion Nine days and a whirlwind of emotions. in the group Bereaved Spouses
"Tiffany I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I lost my husband suddenly almost 3 months ago, he was 37. Similar to you, I woke up to find my husband in bed having a heart issue, I tried to save him but was not successful. Aside from…"
Jan 24
Corey commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Sara and Gretchen, I hope the day is tolerable for you both... I don't dare say good bc I know that's not possible. Hearing how difficult it still is for you guys and those of you who have 5,10 or more years under your belt makes me scared…"
Jan 13
Corey commented on Steve Cain's group Bereaved Spouses
"Sara it's those little things like you mentioned that are killing me now...looking over to see the empty couch where he'd sit.  It's still unthinkable to know I'm never going to touch him or kiss him goodnight…"
Jan 9

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At 7:38am on January 4, 2017, Corey said…
Hi Sara, I did see that and I joined both groups but I appreciate the comment. I don't know what will help me at this point but I figured it couldn't hurt. Thank you!
At 7:24am on January 4, 2017, Sara Murphy said…

Corey...I see your post in the young widows group.   First, let me say how sorry I am that you and your kids have suffered this loss.  I think you would be better off joining the Bereaved Spouses group.  The last post in Young Widows was in April 2015 so I doubt you'll get much support there.  I belong to Bereaved Spouses and without the people I've met in this group, I don't know where I'd be today.  I lost my husband just about a year ago.  He was 52 years old and we were together for almost 30 years.  

Although prayer and having faith in God and faith that you will see your husband again someday is helpful, it does not take the pain away or make anything any easier.  If you're getting advice from people who have not lost a spouse, then they have NO idea what they're talking about.  This is a pain that cannot be described to or understood by anyone not walking in these shoes.  This is why the Bereaved Spouses group has help me tremendously. I'm not as young as you but I'm still fairly young to be a widow and therefore none of my friends or family have been through this so there was no one for me to talk to until I found this site.   I hope you'll find some comfort here, at least to know what you think and feel is normal no matter how crazy you may think it is.

Hugs to you,

Sara

At 12:36pm on January 3, 2017, Chicago Beard said…

Welcome to the group no one wants to be a member of. I have been a member since my wife Rose passed in 2010. The members of this group have helped me deal with my grief better than anything or anyone else. Feel free to comment and vent. Everyone here is going through what you are going through. Everyone is supportive and kind. This is going to be a tough time for you and do not let anyone tell you to snap out of it, shake it off or get over it. You need to go through and feel this, as painful as it is. You lost the love of your life and that is not easy. It will get better with time but for now it is going to hurt a lot. Know that here you get unconditional support!

 
 
 

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