• 50, Female
  • Salinas, CA
  • United States
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  • Joyce M Rubacky

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At 1:38pm on March 15, 2012, cindy turczyn said…

She's gonna realize its lonely at the top.


At 1:36pm on March 15, 2012, cindy turczyn said…

Now lately she went back into her cacoon . I will just leave them alone to let them figure things out themselves. But she will be crying to me on holidays like christmas, mother's day ,her birthday that she didn't get nothing. She wants people to give her stuff, and she don't want to help or give anything to help others. I quit figuring my mom's side of the family out a long time ago

At 9:20am on March 15, 2012, cindy turczyn said…

My mom left my dad on dec. 8th,2011 , he fell in the bathroom on dec. 16 and broke his right hip. He went to the hospital and had hip surgery on dec. 19th ;and on the 22nd the hospital gave him detox and sedation meds togather. My dad went brain dead from then on. Longterm hospital thought they could help him, but didn't . My mom stayed in her own little cacoon during this time and refused to see him or make any decisions for him. I had to make the medical decisions. On March 6th ,2012 at 9pm  he was put into hospice with my mom's signature to approve it . My dad died on 3-9-2012 at 3pm while I was working . I personally blame my mom for all this stuff happening to him. I don't much talk to her now .

At 11:45pm on February 12, 2012, Melania Lee said…


You will go through many emotions in the days and years to come. It is very common to feel guilt after your loved one has taken their own life. This feeling will come and go. I do not want to say it will get better, but I will say someday the beautiful memories will out way all the hurt you are feeling right now.

At 2:19pm on February 9, 2012, Joyce M Rubacky said…

Crystal, I was shocked to read about your humming! I do the exact same thing when I am trying to ignore the strong feelings that start creeping up on me.

At 8:15am on February 9, 2012, Joyce M Rubacky said…

Crystal, It is with deep regret that I welcome you. No one should have to go through this and certainly not go through this alone. I am new to this myself, having lost my brother last April. Even though it has been almost a year since David shot himself, it's still so fresh in my memory and the emotions are still so raw.  Friends and family may help (some don't like to talk about it) but I think the majority of "surviors" need to reach out every single day for something to try and hold on to. Something to shed a little light on our lifes and the trauma we are going through. Even if you never post again, just reading what other people are going through, what they did for help and peace along the way, I'm sure this will help somewhat. I am very sorry for you having to deal with the death of your brother. You probably can not even describe the pain you feel right now. I'm sure your concentration is about nil! And I'm sure you are raking your brain....trying to figure out why, why, why. It can get pretty exhausting! You get mentally fatiqued, but maybe can't sleep. You see people laughing and carry on with their lifes, while you are screaming like crazy inside your head.  Please, close your eyes right now....this is me giving you a hug....I hope it helps even if it's just the thought. You and your brother are in my prayers.                     ps: If you receive unwanted posts (like from miss anita fred) you can block them.


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