Crystal - My heart aches for you. I lost my grandson in October when he was 14 months old. He was born with a heart defect, had open heart surgery when he was 2 months and we thought he was coming along. I know how stunning it is to get that phone call. It feels like someone kicked you in the stomach and you can't catch your breath. Being a grandmother myself, I know it hurts twice as much, the loss of Ian and watching your daughter suffer. I try to talk about Logan to my daughter, but she is still struggling with "what should I have done" and "why didn't I know" These are questions that have no answers. Coming to this site has helped me understand I don't have to feel better or get over it because it's inconvenient for those around me. I cry when I need to and I have a special place where I put the little momentos I have of Logan - t shirts, toys, crib sheets. Someone posted a quote from Edna St. Vincent Malay that sums it up perfectly " there is a hole in my world where you used to be. I walk around it all day long and at night I fall in." Courage - we are here for you.