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Tomorrow makes one month

My husband of twenty seven years passed away at fortyseven years old on Jan.23-2011. I'm so lost without him no laughter no excitement just the house.

I walk from room to room with no purpose, I've lost twenty pounds and I'm really tired of feeling so sad. Right now I don't see it getting any better.

It's the quiet times that hurt the most. I don't want to bring anyone down I just need to talk, I'm all alone and don't know how to stop the pain.

D'Andrea Prater's Blog

Now that it's been 8 months I get the look, (your still crying)?

Posted on September 27, 2011 at 3:21pm 1 Comment 0 Likes

People look at you as if they can't believe that you still want to talk about it. I lost time between January and now and I can't believe 8months have passed. I still find myself saying he needs to just stop this and come home. I can not tell you the fear inside of me about the Holidays coming. And I will admit, I knew nothing would be there for my birthday But I went into the kitchen like I've done for 27 years and looked on the table and cried like a baby because nothing was there. They…

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At 10:13am on December 3, 2011, dawn m long said…: FIND BEAUTY IN ...TODAY ....

At 10:12am on December 3, 2011, dawn m long said…: you are a spectacular person for caring about someone uve not yet met.Grief has not time limit just as in someones time on earth. You are grieving in that u can cry and you get to not have to understand why. WE dont know but i do know that no one can say whose grief is real or unreal. Your hurting and so many not realize its what makes us whole .I applaud your honesty and the people that truly love you should too !

I know you can just go to your computer hold a cherish memory of him and just let it all out. Ive been feeling very worried about holidays .But in my heart the other day i heard a chime ring out just for me .. Music is what binds us together my brother and i and that is how hes getting his message loud and clear .. Look for the most subtle of all things ,find beauty in today and who cares if your still grieving .. they dont have your LIFE ... Someone caring such as yourself can be lost in the world ..but TO ME its REAL !!

talk to you soon

luv dawn

At 10:12am on December 3, 2011, dawn m long said…: you are a spectacular person for caring about someone uve not yet met.Grief has not time limit just as in someones time on earth. You are grieving in that u can cry and you get to not have to understand why. WE dont know but i do know that no one can say whose grief is real or unreal. Your hurting and so many not realize its what makes us whole .I applaud your honesty and the people that truly love you should too !

I know you can just go to your computer hold a cherish memory of him and just let it all out. Ive been feeling very worried about holidays .But in my heart the other day i heard a chime ring out just for me .. Music is what binds us together my brother and i and that is how hes getting his message loud and clear .. Look for the most subtle of all things ,find beauty in today and who cares if your still grieving .. they dont have your LIFE ... Someone caring such as yourself can be lost in the world ..but TO ME its REAL !!

talk to you soon

luv dawn

At 4:56pm on March 30, 2011, Sheryl McCormick said…: I just want you to know I prayed for you just now. I understand so much what you are feeling. My husband died 11/5/2010 in an auto accident and was 55 years old. I have been told by my grief counselor that the first two months we have a reserve to depend on physically and emotionally too (some). After that we are on a steady decline until the sixth month past the death event then we gradually start to get better. I will be at month 5 on April 5th. I feel so sad and each day the reality of this loss becomes more and more real.... I hope it gets easier for all of us in time but for now my goal is to take one day at a time and trust God to carry me through until the next day, etc. I also plan to write a list of all the positive things in my life to read everyday - when we are depressed and grieving it is hard to focus on those things (and I understand feeling like there is nothing to be hopeful for in the future). I just want you to know I care and understand. Sincerely, Sheryl

At 11:56am on March 27, 2011, Marlena said…: D'Andrea,

I'm so sorry that you had to join our group. You have come to the right place to get the support and comfort you need to make it through each day. Everyone here has their own story to tell, yet they all understand the hurt and pain you feel.

You are blessed to have had the type of relationship others envy. That is something to be proud of and hang on tight to. I sometimes used to think that if my Tom and I had not had the relationship we had I wouldn't hurt so much, but I would never give up the fairytale life I lead to feel less pain now.

For now, you have to go through the pain, but know you are not alone. It is all about one day at a time...one breath at at time! Take the time to feel what you need to feel.

Take care and God Bless.

At 11:54am on March 27, 2011, Marlena said…: D'Andrea,

I'm so sorry that you had to join our group. You have come to the right place to get the support and comfort you need to make it through each day. Everyone here has their own story to tell, yet they all understand the hurt and pain you feel.

You are blessed to have had the type of relationship others envy. That is something to be proud of and hang on tight to. I sometimes used to think that if my Tom and I had not had the relationship we had I wouldn't hurt so much, but I would never give up the fairytale life I lead to feel less pain now.

For now, you have to go through the pain, but know you are not alone. It is all about one day at a time...one breath at at time! Take the time to feel what you need to feel.

Take care and God Bless.

At 6:56am on March 25, 2011, Floss said…: So sorry, I tried to copy and paste that article for you, but somehow, it wont let me do that. But if you can just write and ask somebody, if they can help you find, When our Spouses die. Someone from this site had it on their page. It is so true. My love and thoughts are with you Always. I try to read this twice a day, and it is such a help to me. God Bless

At 6:44am on March 25, 2011, Floss said…: I am so sorry for your loss D'Andrea, I am there too nearly 9 months, I feel everything you do. I am going to Paste something on here, that I read in earlier readings, just in case you have not seen it yet, But in the meantime, I give you a big hug. The only person I can really vent my feelings to, is my therapist, and she is wonderful. I have also joined a group of people that lost their spouses, and can relate to them, but not as much as to my therapist, hope you fine this interesting.

At 12:57pm on March 23, 2011, kathy obiedzinski said…: dear d'andrea please note that you are not alone that is why we have this site for people like us that need to talk to others. you are not bring anyone down we are here for the same reason to listen to all. i lost george 3/1/09 we would have been married 35 years. as you said we have in common that we were blessed with a happy marriage we never went to bed mad if we were mad we would still say good night i love you. d'andrea please vent out as much as you want but you must get some sleep i also would not eat at first i still do not cook for myself i notice i do not eat dinner. again keep on this site you will meet new people who will become your friends hugs to all