Hi Darrell: Are you okay?  I'm getting a little concerned about you!

Hi Darrell: First, let me thank you for responding with your kind words.  Your Homer sounds like a great guy. A female friend of mine sent me an email with the following saying - "Don't cry because it's over; but smile because it happened!" Homer showed you what pure unconditional love is/was all about.  Hang on to that. No one can ever replace Homer.  I'm sure it will all get better in time. Don't rush it. Feel what you feel, when you feel it!  It's what I'm trying to do.  Know that you're not alone in dealing with what you're going through. I understand.  **HUGS**

I know exactly how you feel.  We have a big new house we built here in NJ and then a year and a half ago we bought the condo in Florida.  In November we had the whole kitchen redone and all new appliances.  It came out beautiful.  He was so proud to see it completed.  We were to have gone back to the condo for a few weeks this month but I haven't got the proper papers from florida to proceed with probate.  They listed his as a resident of Florida and I don't have any rights there.  So I wait.  I can't touch any of his money until I have the probate papers.  Meantime, I'm robbing peter to pay paul.  Larry left me very well provided for but it somehow doesn't mean much without someone to share it with.  I would have lived in a tent with him in the woods.  I guess time will heal but some days it doesn't seem like there is enough time in the world to heal this pain.  Hang in there and at least we have beautiful memories.  More than some people have in a lifetime.  Stay well. 

Sorry I haven't been on lately.  I  have been occupied with trying to get utilities etc. turned over into my name.  Some more prblems than others.  Since our last names were different I'm being treated like a new customer by some and have to put security deposits down.  Still don't have the amendment to the death certificate so I can't probade.  Our financial advisor has been great calling places for me and told me it was very personal for him because he made a promise to Larry a few years back that he would help walk me through this.  Just like Larry to be looking after me.  Me doing all this in the emotional state I'm in is like Larry walking in the kitchen and baking a cake from scratch.  Never happen. To have so much time on my hands I've been cleaning out my junk in the garage and the house.  We both have tons of shoes (both here and at the condo in Florida) and accessories to say nothing of the millions of pictures I've gone through.  I did scan a lot and created a memorial album for him on facebook which family and friends have appreciated. 

Last Sunday I lost two more friends and have funerals to attend later this weekend.  One at the same funeral home.  I too have  been still emotional but I'm on medication and that helps. Having lunch with my sister in law today to plan his unveiling ceremony.  He was Jewish.  She turned Roman Catholic when married and I'm an Episcopal priest.  No rabbi will come to the Christian cemetery so we are doing it ourselves.  I don't know if I can get through it but I'm gonna try. 

I haven't moved things around much because I have files and folders all over the dining room and kitchen tables.  The office is upstairs and I can't be running up and down each time I need a file.  I will try to be better friend on here.  I just was in such a bad place a few weeks ago, I gave up from lack of responses I guess.  Please forgive.  This grief is a many sided beast.  Love to all.

Yes it is hard. Probably the hardest thing you will encounter.  We have to hang there for our own survival.  Here for you.