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At 5:35pm on November 19, 2017, Mary. Jane said…
Dear David
You don,t know me...my name is Mary Jane and I am usually at the Bereavedsouses site...but last night I was kinda reading other posts..and I somehow got to you. I read your post that your partner “transitioned” and I DIDN,t know exactly what that meant..so I googled it...and by your choice of words you have given me a sense of peace I never had before this. I wanted to thank you. Sometimes in this world, we never know how one word or phrase can touch another person.
I DIDN,t know there was a process of leaving this world when one was in hospice. They never told me, when my husband came home what to expect when he was getting ready to die. He was expected to live a few months...instead they told me how to use the feeding tube, crush his medication and work other machines, dumped 2 cases of canned nutrition in the room...
And left their phone number. He died 4 Days later. I never knew that the terrifying motions and some agony he was going through was normal...and, yes, he said goodbye the night before he died. I DIDN,t know it would be his last night because I DIDN,t know the signs to look for. I was terrified through some of them.
I am so sorry if this has caused you any pain, but I cannot express clear enough how much your post meant to me, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
We were married 49 years...he died Feb 2016, and until I read your post yesterday, I was afraid I had done something wrong.
I am so sorry you lost your life partner..and I wish you all things good. This is a good place...it took me until this Spring to find these boards, and they have been a lifesaver.thank you again for touching my life and making it better.
Very Sincerely
Mary Jane
At 3:52pm on November 14, 2017, David, BERNIE's dad said…

You sound much more 'together' than the average widower. I am a bit happier for you, despite your sorrow. My live-in son was everything in my life, since the rest of my family live far away, and do not want or need me.Is the pic of him?

Being able to enjoy one's own company is the first big test!  And I discuss things with Bernie's dog. Loss of a loved one is dreadful, but hopefully we shall be together again one day. I wish you ongoing strength and courage. And don't be afraid to cry!  Memories escape my eyes and roll down my cheeks. Be brave!

At 3:36pm on November 14, 2017, David Heggi said…

Hi David,

I'm David, and my beloved is David too.  I lost him just 11 days after your partner transitioned (what is his name?).  You can see I use the present tense because He still is and always will be in my heart.  I know you feel the same about yours.  It is so hard - you name it and this grief takes you there.  Please, if you can, tell me more about your relationship.  I am relatively new here, and boy it sure can be a lifesaver to share with the kind souls I have found here. I would like to offer whatever help I can too.  

They say that the pain WILL diminish over time.  Right now it does not seem possible, but I trust that it will.

Hope to hear from you, David - anytime

a hug,


At 3:04pm on November 14, 2017, David said…
Thank you, David. My Life Partner of almost 20 years transitioned on August 22 2017. He was my everything and I miss him terribly. Sure is a challenging adjustment to living alone. I sure appreciate everyone’s kindness, and for welcoming me.
At 12:04pm on November 14, 2017, David, BERNIE's dad said…

Our sympathies. Who did you lose?


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