It's only 3 weeks since my Danie died of cancer. I was diagnosed only 7 weeks before and suffered terribly. We too enjoyed eating together just about every night for 36 years. Danie also was an excellent cook, and now I look at all his cooking equipment and gadgets around the kitchen exactly where he liked them and grieve that they may never get used again. My circle of friends have been keeping me fed, but that can't last forever. I loathe to move any of his belongings - his med, his clothes, his Iphone, his reading glasses, his favorite candies. They're all stiil where they always have been. The flowers around the little memorial of cards and photos on the piano have now died and been thrown away, except for an orchid someone gave me. He loved orchids.
Now I'm just rambling and I fear not making complete sense.
I'm starting to look for a gay or at least gay-friendly bereavement group but I hate voicemail and am impatient for a callback.
I'm sorry for your loss. We have a few things in common. I lost my husband and partner of 24 years to cancer in December. I live in your hometown. I miss him every moment. Life has lost the happiness we always enjoyed. Bob
Hi David! Thanks for talking to me! I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows that I have two faces right now! It's a daily struggle to figure out how to get thru the day. Sometimes I feel like I went back to work too soon and then I tell myself that I can't sit around the house with nothing to do because that will drive me crazier. My wife battled gallbladder cancer for 9 months and it was quite a journey. The only thing I find peace in is knowing that she is no longer suffering.
Hi David. Thanks so much for your kind words and please accept my condolences and sympathy for your loss. I know that you are right - that I have been so lucky to have had love for so long. I just have a hard time being grateful in my dark moments. When I am having a good day, I am so grateful for his love and for the time we had together. My wish for you is more good days than bad and I am so glad you selected me as a friend. I look forward to communicating with you often. Take care and be good to yourself. Your Friend, John
Hello David. I am sorry it took me so long to respond to you. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own thoughts and worries that days go by and I get nothing done. My dear Clark died on July 7, 2013 and I still feel like it was yesterday. People that say time heals all wounds must be talking about decades because it is now a year and a half later and nothing has changed for me. Clark and I were together from October 30th 1981. He was 22 and I was 24. We loved each other very much. I knew I loved him from the first night we met and I think so did he. When he died last year it was also sudden and we had just moved from the city to the country so I do not know anyone here very well. There is no gay community to speak of here and since I live in Northern Canada the winters are very long and lonely. I must say it has been a hard time for me and, even though I do not know your circumstances, I feel I can safely say I know what you are going through. I have made one good female friend on here that lost her partner last November and it has been good to communicate with her. We email all the time. It is very comforting because many of her friends and mine also do not seem to want to talk about our spouses to us anymore. To them they think we are doing fine but in fact we are still hurting. If you want to discuss things with me at any time, here is my email. firstname.lastname@example.org I would enjoy emailing with you. Take care of yourself my friend. Erick