David Wishart
  • Male
  • Hood River, OR
  • United States
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Alternative grief support community

Posted on December 6, 2017 at 12:32pm 1 Comment

Is there a more active grief support community on the web? Though a couple of people have said hello each time I sign in I'm usually the only person online. So far I'm feeling even more alone. I'm not a member f Facebook, my beloved husband John and I both had strong reservations regarding that sort of social media. In my rural community I've come up with nothing. And had hoped to at least find a thriving online one. Might there be another I've not found?




Gay widower in search of community, and grief support

Posted on December 5, 2017 at 3:27pm 2 Comments


My name is David Wishart (pronounced wish-art, on left in profile picture).  My husband John Wishart (on right in picture) died recently and I've found myself suddenly completely alone, isolated, and without purpose.  There is no routine for me to go back to.  I'm here, a gay male widower, looking for any possible support group where I can be welcomed, feel comfortable, and talk with others who might identify with me.

On the…


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At 6:38pm on December 5, 2017, Mary. Jane said…

Dear David W. 

My name is Mary Jane, and I would like to welcome you to Legacy. Sometimes when I am reading posts here, I jump from one area to the next, and I came across your blog. It was beautiful. I am very sorry you are having to endure this terrible pain after loosing John..but finding this place will really help you. It has helped me immensely. I am not gay, and am on the bereaved spouses group..but it doesn,t matter here whether  you are gay or straight...we all share the same pain and loss. I urge you to go check out that group...about half the members are gay...not that it makes a difference. 

this site can be difficult at first to navigate...it may take about a week to figure it out completely. I promise you that in a very short time you will find so many people here..kind caring people from all walks of life, who sadly share our situation...the person you shared your life with is now gone, and we have to figure out how to navigate this world again..alone.

After I read your blog, I went and read some of the posts on the gay group, and was surprised there were so few people...so I am inviting you to also join the other group...I,ve been here for about 8 months, and it has basically saved my life. My husband of 49 years died 20 months ago after only 4 months of cancer...even all that time has assed I still spend my days basically doing nothing...my thought process and motivation doesn,t exist anymore...but I won,t bore you with details...

About navigating posts..for some reason..if you wish to respond to something you read that isn,t on PAGE 1, you can,t respond on any other page but the current page. It sounds weird, but that is how it is set up here...we all respond, or post in a row. Otherwise whT you write will disappear. I hope I am making sense...I lost ALOT of heartfelt replies until I finally figured it out. We just name the person in our post, if we are answering...otherwise, we just write down our thoughts etc and hit the COMMENT button...but it won,t post if you aren,t on page one. 

I hope you stay...here everyone understands what you are feeling, and soon you realize you are not alone. Long after family and friends think we “should be “over it” we are here for each other..to support, comfort and advise, if needed. 

You can say ANYTHING here..except no profanity...even the word DAM with an N...so if you hit the comment button and nothing happens, go back and check and just correct the word..ok I am sorry to blather away like this...you will be glad you found this place...and you are now among people who care, and importantly understand, as they are in the same situation.

Mary Jane


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