Hi again. I have a question. I'm not sure if I'm navigating this board correctly because I posted to the group and didn't find the post. Also, I'm not sure what "request sent" means, I should because I started this group, I guess that proves how scrambled my head has been for almost a year now. Thanks Dawn. Liz :)
Hi Dawn, Thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. I'm sorry I haven't written back sooner..... I guess I've been isolating myself from alot of people except my daughter and sister. I can't believe it will be a year on the 29th of this month that Dad passed away, seems like just yesterday sometimes. Mom's passing in March was just a totally unexpected shock to me, I thought it could never happen so soon after my Dad, and they were divorced for years.
I still cry alot cause I stay alone most of the time. No ambition to go anywhere or even visit anyone, I know part of that is being lazy, I want to push myself more, but I just don't. I've had clinical depression for years and am on medication. But I don't ever remember feeling this lost and down ever before. Life looks very different to me now, and I don't like it one bit. I know it will take time till I feel normal again.
dawn, glad to hear you made it thru christmas. this too was my first christmas w/out my dad - he passed 4/27/09. we too continued a few traditions - grace at the table - with a peek under our plates for a penny - a tradition my dad always did. we did start some new traditions too - which was good too. today it feels harder - been wearing my dad's sweatshirt - miss him terribly. hope you feel peace- and thanks for posting your christmas success! :)
Shoshana, I'm sorry for your loss. My father died about 6 wks ago and it seems recent and distant at the same time. Just writing that his death feels distant makes me cry. Many people have told me that I might feel this way always, but that I will become used to the feelings and hopefully they will not be quite so overwhelming and raw. I do feel a small amount of relief and peace in knowing that my father isn't suffering nor living in a way that he expressly didn't want. I hope you find some peace with time.
Thank you Dawn, and I am so sorry you lost your Dad recently.....I do find great comfort in photos like this. Other people may look at his face, and think he looks kind of gruff, but for me, I still see the twinkle in his eyes, and his mouth that was always ready to break into a grin or say something funny. i still have bad days once in awhile, and I know when my mom comes to visit over Christmas, it will be a tough time......but overall I am slowly coming to find peace with his passing. I know he isn't gone, like always I get the feeling he has just gone on ahead of us, like he did so many times before. We moved a lot when I was a kid, he was an adventurer and he always went on ahead to make sure we had a good place to live before we joined him. I know he is waiting on ahead for us there , too; he would never had let us go on ahead 1st! I always felt his protected, and I still do. jen