Debbie, you found the right place to find support during these dark, stressful, and trying times. Everyone here is going through the smae things and can understand many of the roller coaster emotions we are feeling when even family members do not understand. Most, if not all, here feel as though all the joy and happiness have been taken out of our lives forever. Guilt is another big emotion many of us feel. You will find help and support here that is as good as you will get anywhere because we understand. It has been 3 months since my beloved wife passed and it is still such raw grief for me. We all seem to get a little better as time goes by when we let our emotions out in this forum and friends help us in many ways. So sorry you have to be here.