I am so sorry for your loss. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do so I know just how you feel. I lost my Harry about 3 weeks after you lost you husband. He turned 61 on Dec.8th and he passed on Dec. 13, 2009. The worst day of my entire life. Christmas was a big blur. Getting through the holidays was a horrible struggle. It was 6 mos. ago and it still feels like yesterday. I cry every day. Not as much as in the beginning but sometimes all I do is look at his picture and I can sob uncontrollably. Other times I can talk to him. I was told this is "normal" for the situation. OK. Whatever. I know it's my everyday feelings so whether it's normal or not, it's what I do. Harry and I celebrated our 36th anniversary in October. We had been together for 39 years. I have never lived alone and I hate it. My kids have been wonderful but they are grieving too. I feel like my heart is bleeding out. Sometimes I wish it was so I can be with him.
We are going to have a real tough time today. I still have my Dad and I am grateful for that but my heart will ache for my Harry and for my children especially my daughter who is out of state and won't have us to help her. I can tell you that the people on here are wonderful and they do understand. Keep your thoughts coming and someone will answer and hopefully help. Take Care and God Bless.