I have tried it all.  I turned to God first, and I still do, but some days I can't even pray. I've been to a doctor, a psychiatrist, a counselor.  I've been medicated, and not medicated.   Some days I am not happy to be alive - and I feel guilty for feeling this way.  Does everyone?  I think of all the saddest things I can think of - I pile on the grief that I imagine everyone else is going through, over various situations, and tell myself "your grief is not that bad".  Your grand babies are…