Hi Dee,
Im happy summer is around the corner. Even tho I live in Ohio and in the secondary snow belt to boot so I truly look forward to summer. Seems like it just gets here and then the snow starts to fly again.
My Donnie love the stock market. His favortie day would havebeen a nice dinner watch the busniess channel and have his wall street to read. so we will be having a ceramony at the cemetary. WE have a nitch so then we will put his ashes in there along with a Wall Street. He would have like that.
I so look forward to reading my messages on here. The guy finally came to cut the grass. I thought he was gonna leave a bill but he didnt. I wont forget him he lives down the street. I want to get a flat price to take care of the lawn and just pay most of it up front. Seems easier to me. I hate having bills.
There is another woman named Mary that lives in Michigan. I talk to her once in awhile she is very nice. Are you OK? My daughter works late tomorrow so that will be a tough day for me. Too much time to think. Im glad I work. At least I have 8 hours a day where I have to think about something else. My sister has been very supportive and calls me all the time. I hope you have family that does the same for you. Are the kids OK. Mine are having dreams where they can hear Donnie talking to them. Ive not had any of that. Maybe one day. Well Im gonna go and get ready for work tomorrow. Take care Dotti

Hello Dee
I haven talked to you in awhile so I thought I drop a few lines. Work wasnt any fun today just people complaining about their bills, same old thing. You know after I talked to you I felt better. I just told myself Donnie wouldnt want me to keep going on and on crying all the time. Ive had a few small moments but I have been able to bring myself out of it.
The guy I hired to mow the grass still hasnt done it. Guess Ill have to call him again. May I ask where do you live? I talk to so many people I cant remember if I asked you. Hows the kids doing? I hope they are coping ok. I have met so many nice people on this web site. Well I must go for now till then Dotti

Dee,
I know exactly what your talking about. I dont know how to start the lawn mower so I hired someone. Seemed easier. I dont care to mow grass anyway. My Donnie loved the yard so I will keep it up for him. I actually wanted to move into a condo or cluster but it would be financially better for me to stay here. The taxes arent bad and our home is paid for. I just dont want to go thru all that stuff to move. Well im on day 5 of crying spells. Its never happened like this before. Im not sure what happening to me. Is it just catching up with me? I talk to Donnie every day begging for any kind of sign that he knows I love him and I miss him. Nothing yet. Hopefully one day.

Do you live in the country? I live smack dab in the heart of Parma, Ohio The hospital and mall are in my back yard. I love it here. Everything is at my finger tips all the shopping you could want, community theaters, schools but Im only about 25 minutes to downtown Cleveland so I have alot around me. As a matter of fact Frankie Vally was just here last night. I wanted to go but no one to go with. Well maybe another time. you know what we need? We need to pick ourselves up and try to get a little happier. Im tired of crying and I dont think Donnie would want me this way. I hope this helps your sorrow. Hope to hear from you soon

Dee
Im sorry for all your sorrow today. I have been down going on day 3. I find Im just mad at everything and for no reason. I went out to dinner tonight with my daughter and her family and seen all these couples. Boy that was hard. I wanted to go up and tell them to appreciate each other. I work in medical billing and to try to take these calls from patients can rattle anyones nerves but for the past couple of days they are getting on my nerves especially bad. Im glad you have the kids at home. You said you have 12 kids with 6 at home. Trust me you probably work harder then if you had an outside job. I have one of my daughters living at home and Im grateful to have her here. Dont think Id make it alone. Well Im tired of being crabby and wanting to snap at people cause that is not my personality. Im usually a pretty happy go lucky person. So I think Im gonna have better thoughts and think of the happy times I had with my Donnie.

Hi there
Im glad you responded back. Well today is a real bummer just thought of Donnie since yesterday and it was all I could do to keep my composure at work. I got off went to the nearest parking lot and cried my eyes out. I wish I could take more time off of work but they wont guarentee my position. I really need more time but I need my job too. My Donnie died of liver cancer just 3 weeks after he was diagnosed. We did hospice at home and as nice as they were I felt I had to be an instant nurse. They came in to bathe him and give me constant directions on how to give him all this medication. I was scared I would give him too much (which they said I couldnt) or not enough but he wanted to die at home. We had his bed in the family room which I still cant use cause all I do is see him there. I did everything the way he wanted. Please tell me about your loved one. Till then Dotti