Derick Grundyson
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  • Minneapolis, MN
  • United States
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David Heggi left a comment for Derick Grundyson
"Derick,  I'm relatively new here, and just now reading your story. I hope after two years it's gotten a little easier for you - I'm just beginning my fall down that rabbit hole. We ARE sometimes the only ones who hold the memory…"
Nov 25, 2017
robert j crowley replied to Derick Grundyson's discussion The story of a 43 year old recent widower. in the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
"I wish I could say I was an objective someone but I experienced something similar - since no one can really feel what you feel.  All I can say is I am unemployed and my rock in life has passed.  He made life worth living and I am lost…"
May 3, 2016
Derick Grundyson and Terry Kukral are now friends
Feb 17, 2016
Derick Grundyson replied to Jesse Roberts's discussion Young & Unexpected GLBT Widower in the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
"Jesse, your experience resonates with me in a fundamental way. Like you, I lost the love of my life recently and suddenly without any real warning. I am so sorry for your loss and how your experience unfolded. Like Michael, my Tony had mental…"
Feb 11, 2016
Derick Grundyson replied to Derick Grundyson's discussion The story of a 43 year old recent widower. in the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
"Hi Eric, thank you for responding and I am very deeply sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult it was to get that diagnosis and the resulting five months would have been torturous. I do have some perspective on the horrors of your…"
Feb 11, 2016
Derick Grundyson replied to Derick Grundyson's discussion The story of a 43 year old recent widower. in the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
"Janet, I am so sorry for your loss. Cancer is a horrible thing. And like you, I have struggled to relate to my family and friends ever since he passed. They try, believe me they do...but the look of pity and then helplessness on their faces when I…"
Feb 11, 2016
Derick Grundyson replied to Derick Grundyson's discussion The story of a 43 year old recent widower. in the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
"Thank you Scott, and my sincerest regrets for your loss. It is incredibly useful to see different perspectives. Cancer is awful. A very very close friend of mine had died of cancer two weeks after my partner's death, and I was there by his side…"
Feb 11, 2016
Derick Grundyson replied to Derick Grundyson's discussion The story of a 43 year old recent widower. in the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
"Thanks Mike, and I am also sorry for your loss. I have considered the "group" route, and continue to do so today. I have been researching various options in my area, and fortunately Minnesota is a progressive state. There are many options…"
Feb 11, 2016
eric johnson replied to Derick Grundyson's discussion The story of a 43 year old recent widower. in the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
"hi derrick. my name is eric. first off let me say how sorry I am for your loss and being in this situation myself believe me when I say I am very sympathetic to your situation. I was with my partner for 15 years as well. he went to the superbowl…"
Feb 10, 2016
Janet Angelone replied to Derick Grundyson's discussion The story of a 43 year old recent widower. in the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
"Hi Derik, My name is Janet. I lost my partner of 21 years in October to pancreatic cancer. We only had from May (initial diagnosis) to prepare for her moving beyond our world here. I can't begin to fathom how alone you must feel. We had family…"
Feb 10, 2016
Scott replied to Derick Grundyson's discussion The story of a 43 year old recent widower. in the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
"Hi Derick, I lost my partner Dave 3 years ago to cancer.  We had been together 13 years.  Like you have heard, time does soften the sting a bit, which I know is hard to believe right now, but it does.  Everyone's grief journey is…"
Feb 10, 2016
Michael K replied to Derick Grundyson's discussion The story of a 43 year old recent widower. in the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
"Hello Derick My name is Mike I lost my partner Danie to cancer almost 11 months ago. In fact today is the 1 year anniversary of when we got his diagnosis. We'd been together for 36 years. I wish I could say that this kind of grief is a straight…"
Feb 10, 2016
Derick Grundyson replied to Cesar Gil's discussion Pain is till the same but at least now I can talk about it in the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
"Don, I am very sorry for your loss and wish you nothing but the best. I find myself doing the same things as you do to pass the time...a lot of tinkering with gadgets or games to distract me. I think that is a natural thing. We cannot be emotionally…"
Feb 10, 2016
Derick Grundyson replied to Steve Levin's discussion What to call deceased partner? in the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
"I have been calling him my late spouse...if it's someone I don't know. Otherwise it's just his name...Tony. We weren't legally married (15 years on) but it doesn't change a thing."
Feb 10, 2016
Derick Grundyson added a discussion to the group Gay and lesbians who have lost partners
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The story of a 43 year old recent widower.

My name is Derick, and I am here because I lost my partner of 15 years to a sudden heart attack in Puerto Rico. Family and friends have encouraged me to seek a support group to help cope with his loss, and I have always felt more comfortable writing down my thoughts and feelings than sharing them in a live setting.A little bit about my partner and I:We met in 2000 in St. Cloud, MN where he was an adjunct professor at the university there in communications. During our first year together, he was…See More
Feb 10, 2016
Derick Grundyson posted a blog post

Widowed at 43 on 11/1/15

My name is Derick, and I am here because I lost my partner of 15 years to a sudden heart attack in Puerto Rico. Family and friends have encouraged me to seek a support group to help cope with his loss, and I have always felt more comfortable writing down my thoughts and feelings than sharing them in a live setting.A little bit about my partner and I:We met in 2000 in St. Cloud, MN where he was an adjunct professor at the university there in communications. During our first year together, he was…See More
Feb 10, 2016

Profile Information

43 year old widower

I recently lost my partner of 14 years to heart disease on 11/1/15.

Derick Grundyson's Blog

Widowed at 43 on 11/1/15

Posted on February 10, 2016 at 4:33pm 0 Comments

My name is Derick, and I am here because I lost my partner of 15 years to a sudden heart attack in Puerto Rico. Family and friends have encouraged me to seek a support group to help cope with his loss, and I have always felt more comfortable writing down my thoughts and feelings than sharing them in a live setting.



A little bit about my partner and I:



We met in 2000 in St. Cloud, MN where he was an adjunct professor at the university there in communications. During our… Continue

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At 12:12pm on November 25, 2017, David Heggi said…

Derick, 

I'm relatively new here, and just now reading your story.

I hope after two years it's gotten a little easier for you - I'm just beginning my fall down that rabbit hole.

We ARE sometimes the only ones who hold the memory of our loved ones - who else could possibly know ?  

People can be callous and indifferent when they would like to mean well,  it nevertheless,  hurts all the same - it still angers me when they diminish my loved one's memory by expecting me to get on with life,  The feelings of isolation and abandonment are common and have to met and experienced in the healing process (or so they say).  Sorry to be so textbook, Derick,  I am new and passing along what I have learned here, as I want to reach out to help others like my self. Yes, I feel so all alone too.

I would like to know where you are on your journey, Derick.  It would be very helpful for us in raw grief to read a success story - or maybe something close to that?

Wishing you well,

David H

 
 
 

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