I keep thinking of an old old song we used to sing in church, "When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be, when we all see Jesus, we sing and shout 'VICTORY'."  I pray this is what is was like when our loved ones went to heaven.  I think THEY are fine.  It is us down here that are having a hard time MISSING our loved one and feeling the agony and pain and possibly guilt that IF we had done something different, we could have changed the outcome.  I don't know if it would or not.  I think, if it is our time to go, we will go.  What I don't understand is why he takes them so young and sometimes so violently.  Why not the old timers with cancer or heart problems who have lived a full life.  Why not the 95 year old instead of the three or four year olds?  I guess we will understand someday when we get to heaven, but it doesn't stop the pain while we are on this sad earth. 

thanks for the friend request. My thoughts and prayers are with you. My son shot his self in the head. When he left this world half of my heart went with him. I will say days are getting a little better and I know God will get me through all the hard times.  Look forward to geting to know you.

 Well this is so so Hard =having some rough days .. I still cant beieve he's gone . I miss him so much , his voice ,( I have him on a recording ) I miss his touch , his smell. his silly ways and I miss him being here for my Girls !! My Borthers that I lost in July was his Birthday yesterday , I know how my sisiter inlaw feels, the pain is so difficult . Roger's Birthday is coming up in March . I know my girls are going to rehash and they need me , but I jsut can't seem to celebrate with them , They wanna go out for Daddy Dinner for his Birthday . I dont ever wan to Celebrate that day ;(  . So I just thought I'd vent a bit and know you understand . Although this will be our 3rd birthday without him , it's not getting any easier.. I wish My heart would rest and be at piece with why he Left us ?? So sad , I dont think this Pain will ever go away ... My heart is so heavy and i think of him all the time . But I am so tring to move on with my life and to raise my 10yr old now.Kelsey is now playing girls flag football . which helps us get out of the house . And I have got a boyfriend now and guilt is unbelievable . He's so good with her( Kelsey) and treats me like a queen. I could go on forever, but I dont even want to get into the 2 older daughters . Of coarse they dont appove of anything I do right now !! They wanted me to get out of the black dark hole i was in , but now that Ive meet someone .. I just doont know what to do anymore . Makes Kelsey happpy , She loves Doug . But the older 2 . They still got a wall up ..They say they want me to be happy but yet they are rude and disrespectful . So Ive tried talking to them . they want to tell me what , when , how I go on with my life... I reminded them that I raised them , and I was thier MOTHER ...  

 Well this is so so Hard =having some rough days .. I still cant beieve he's gone . I miss him so much , his voice ,( I have him on a recording ) I miss his touch , his smell. his silly ways and I miss him being here for my Girls !! My Borthers that I lost in July was his Birthday yesterday , I know how my sisiter inlaw feels, the pain is so difficult . Roger's Birthday is coming up in March . I know my girls are going to rehash and they need me , but I jsut can't seem to celebrate with them , They wanna go out for Daddy Dinner for his Birthday . I dont ever wan to Celebrate that day ;(  . So I just thought I'd vent a bit and know you understand . Although this will be our 3rd birthday without him , it's not getting any easier.. I wish My heart would rest and be at piece with why he Left us ?? So sad , I dont think this Pain will ever go away ... My heart is so heavy and i think of him all the time . But I am so tring to move on with my life and to raise my 10yr old now.Kelsey is now playing girls flag football . which helps us get out of the house . And I have got a boyfriend now and guilt is unbelievable . He's so good with her( Kelsey) and treats me like a queen. I could go on forever, but I dont even want to get into the 2 older daughters . Of coarse they dont appove of anything I do right now !! They wanted me to get out of the black dark hole i was in , but now that Ive meet someone .. I just doont know what to do anymore . Makes Kelsey happpy , She loves Doug . But the older 2 . They still got a wall up ..They say they want me to be happy but yet they are rude and disrespectful . So Ive tried talking to them . they want to tell me what , when , how I go on with my life... I reminded them that I raised them , and I was thier MOTHER ...  

Ya know, It does get better. there are just have moments... I call them the tide. Thanks for taking the time to respond to my post. I'm truly sorry to hear of you devastating loss. I cant even attempt to think about how difficult your journey must have been. Many hugs and feel free to chit chat any time.

Hi Diann, Thank you for talkin to me ...I am new to this talkin on Legacy , but i do like reading others .... remides me that we all have lost someone dear to us..And by talkin does ease our pain somewhat.

I do think that by our loved ones chosing to leave really is so so hard to get past . It has been 2yrs and.. I have seeked outside help , but it didnt help me..My husband to had a very heavy heart also and couldnt tell me.. He left  No note .. I looked for a year.... .. He left our beautiful Family with 3 Beautful daughters of 21yrs of marriage . I wish i could go back and talk to him and help him threw his heartache ... ... I'll be Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Stay Srong !!!!

Hi Diane, Thanks for the request...I'm sorry for your loss of your son...I haven't been on in awhile & just realized it's been a year 12/10 that your son has been gone...My heart goes out to you as I know that feeling so badly as in Nov it was 1 yr of my son's passing...Words are hard to find to comfort someone else in grief so please let me just say "I wish you comfort in your journey..."

Hi Diane, Thanks for the request...I'm sorry for your loss of your son...I haven't been on in awhile & just realized it's been a year 12/10 that your son has been gone...My heart goes out to you as I know that feeling so badly as in Nov it was 1 yr of my son's passing...Words are hard to find to comfort someone else in grief so please let me just say "I wish you comfort in your journey..."