Donna Padilla
  • Female
  • Snow Hill,nc
  • United States

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suicide's survivors

talk to other survivors of loved ones that took their life and learn how to cope with everyday life, how to carry on,try to understand and know why you feel the way you do.
Apr 24, 2019
Today marks the one year anniversary of my beloved Nicolas' passing. It has been a very difficult year indeed. He took his own life not realizing how it would affect those who loved him dearly. However through his death, new beginnings have abounded. I still struggle everyday with the questions of "why?" and trying to blame myself. I trust in God and with his guiding hands I have learned to become stronger, as I know that one day I will see and be with my Nicolas again. I now am at peace and can try to move forward. Don't get me wrong, I still have my bad days. I have learned to accepts things for the way they are and not to question or be mad at God. He has a plan for all of us. May God bless each and everyone of you and guide you through your time of needs and trials . Donna

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At 12:38pm on September 14, 2017, denise said…
Hello Donna
I'm Denise. I have suffered loss of a loved on due to a tragedy. It's been difficult but time. Real friends. Coping skills have helped m so much
At 5:38am on April 18, 2012, Suzanne Sellier said…

I don't know you Donna, but Margo (bless her heart) referred me to your page. The 2 suicides in my family have become secondary to the loss of the rest of my family. Where we used to be close, communication with my mother is now limited to the weather, and my 4 surviving older brothers simply have never talked about anything deep. Everyone acts like this is a cold we must get over. Carol was my only sister, my Big sister. She was bipolar depressive and she struggled with alcoholism and drug addiction. She was sober for many years, actively involved in AA. Overall she was brilliant, fun, extremely funny, and much loved by many. But she succumbed to her demons in the end. My father,who was her ally, also struggled with addiction, he committed suicide 3 years ago. Now I have lost my father, and my sister, my confidante. I live outside Paris (France), 10,000 miles from home. My mother (79) and I have come to loggerheads over my desire we share information. Not only does she not share, but I get the impression she has made a pact wit hmy bros. not to tell me anything. I know this because mom and my brother called my best friend, told her things, and swore her to secrecy. I wanted us to draw together and support one another but now I have been completely alienated. Decisions are being made, Carol's belongings given away to strangers (mom gave Carol's ashes to her roomate 3 states away, without telling anyone). In all, I realize I have lost my whole family in one go. Where my relationship with Carol was unique and special, I am now being treated as a nosy, hysterical woman. How does one cope?

At 3:54am on December 24, 2011, Margo powell said…
Hi Donna, Just wanted to commend you on your site. It has brought many good people together to support and comfort one another.

If anything really positive comes out of losing a loved to suicide it seems to be a much stronger faith in God. A common thread I recognize in the postings is the sense that we are incapable to handle such losses without God. Fortunately, we can always depend on Him to carry us when our own
strength fails us. Never did we imagine anything could be so painful. The refiners fire is hot but produces something of great beauty in the end. I see each of the people posting to your site as really beautiful souls that are surviving life's greatest challenges. It sounds like you are strong and have come through this last year with a renewed perspective we can all glean from Blessings to you, Donna and each of the wonderful souls who visit this site. Wishing you all a peaceful, meaningful Christmas. Christ died that man might live and have everlasting life. What wonderful knowledge to possess!! Glory Hallelujah! Much Love and Aloha, Margo
At 12:47pm on December 20, 2011, Jan Jefferson said…

Hi Donna, thanks for the invite...I'de like to send you comfort throughout your days on this horrific journey we all travel...God Grant Us Peace...

At 11:49pm on July 21, 2011, Dianne said…
To those of you who have lost loved ones to suicide and blame yourself.  I was 15 years old when I lost my father to suicide.  I was suppose to enjoy life that week, because it was going to be my Sweet 16 birthday that Friday.  Well, it was the Monday after Easter.  My birthday was going to be that coming Friday.  I couldn't wait. I woke up on Monday and all I could hear was arguing between my mother and dad. I was scared to say anything, thinking that if I keep my mouth shut things would become quiet.  But it did not, so as I walked in the living room, I saw a gun and my mother holding on to the gun and my father trying to get it from her.  As my mother kept refusing to give it to him, I hollered out loud for her to give him the gun.  I was tired of the hollering, so I figured what I said the arguing would stop.  But as my mother eased her grip off the gun, my father snatched it up and went out the door.  I watched him as he went into the backyard and load the gun and pull the trigger.  Why didn't I stop him by banging on the window or hollering out like I did at the living room table.  But I didn't.  It's March 31, the Friday after Easter Sunday and it's my birthday.  I was supposed to feel like Sweet 16, but yet I was feeling like "DIRT" going to my father's funeral on my birthday, when I was supposed to be Sweet 16.  To all of you who feel like you're still blaming yourself after one year, 10 years, 16 years, -- well here's a girl that blamed herself from the age of 15 to her 50's.  And in between that time when I was 47 years old, my mother died and there went another "It's my fault" "I blame myself" behavior on top of my guilt over my father.  So I was a complete mess.  But it wasn't until I gave it to God that the guilt and shame left and I came into the understanding of God's incredible love for me, that there was no blame or guilt on my part.  And there's no guilt on your part either. Trust God and Hold on.
At 1:41pm on June 10, 2011, Kate Forsman said…
New to this group. Just want to say hi for now
At 1:41pm on June 10, 2011, Kate Forsman said…
New to this group. Just want to say hi for now
At 6:46pm on May 27, 2011, geri wise said…
My grand daughter shot her self at the age of 17. Its almost been 2 months and it feels like yesterday. I brought her home from the hospital. She was our world and now we are empty.Why did she do it? there were notes but they have not returned them to us or her cell phone.
At 6:46pm on May 27, 2011, geri wise said…
My grand daughter shot her self at the age of 17. Its almost been 2 months and it feels like yesterday. I brought her home from the hospital. She was our world and now we are empty.Why did she do it? there were notes but they have not returned them to us or her cell phone.
At 8:30pm on July 28, 2010, Teri Wilkinson said…
My husband took his life 3 months after we were married. Our 1st anniv. is coming on Aug. 1. I am so alone and have not accepted the fact that he is gone. I love him so much and miss him more and more everyday. We have a 6yr old little girl. She is his world. I have a hard time trying to understand how he could leave the 2 of us. I know he has been strugleing with depression due to being ill. I found out after the fact that he was not ill at all. I am so angry. But not at him. I don't feel anything but hurt and love toward my husband. I don't know how to deal with this and I have no one to talk to..I am so lost and don't think I will ever find my-self again.

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