Sorry for your loss Dorothy, I can say I know what u are feeling, even though we are all in the different stages of grieving & the process is not the same for everyone, this site has been truly a blessing for me, so I can tell u that u came to the right place, I too lost the love of my life on Feb 9th of this year, after having been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer with metastasis of liver, pelvis & lymph nodes without any prior symptoms, his diagnosis was Jan 13th & died less than a month later & not even from the cancer, he went to a cardiac arrest & lost him in a matter of minutes, for me it has been total devastation, he had just turned 59, we were together for 40 years, married 33 this past October, wish I could tell u that I am better, but it is not my case, I haven't stopped crying & my grief is overwhelming, so I can sure understand your pain & your emotions, those who are in the process longer do say, it gets easier but we never forget, especially when we have lost our soul mates, I have had 5 deaths of family members within 5 years, so I am very tired & hope for some relief, I pray you also find some comfort & your grief subsides even if just for a few minutes, my prayers are with you, pray for me also as I must need to stay strong for the next coming Saturday since my youngest son is getting married.

Hugs to you,

Elvira