Hi Petal ...  Thank you for inviting me as your friend.  I hope you are having a little peace now and then, but I know how difficult the grieving is.  My heart really does go out to you and I do understand what you are saying about the cemetery and your husband being laid to rest.  I have buried two parents and I would go up twice a year to be sure the head stone and surrounding area was kept up and left flowers each time.  Just to run my fingers across their names made me realize they were here once.  I know realizing our loved ones are buried is difficult and your grief is raw.  I think you have a double whammy being a doctor where you have to draw a line with your patients and not get too involved, but now you are faced with a personal tragedy of loss and it's difficult for you to break that wall down to grieve.  We're all here for you and although very sorry you had to join this forum you have come to a great place where everyone understands the grieving of another.

Marsha

Thank you for sharing what you can, and please don't feel obligated. What's important is the support and caring of others who are all grieving here. My sincerest condolences on the loss of your husband.Take care and hope you have some peace.  --Cari