I'm sorry for the loss of both your parents. I was reading your post to Shylar, and it really struck me. I have found myself looking at people who are laughing, smiling, enjoying their lives and I think to myself "Well, they've never lost their mom or dad." The "realistic" side of my brain knows that isn't true, but my emotional side wins over every time. My dad left us 02/22/2010, he was 66. Honestly, it wouldn't have mattered if he had been 106. The pain of losing him has engulfed me. I'm probably #1 on the worst mothers list because I cant seem to get it together to be a good mom. My husband has been exceptional. He's giving me the time, the space, and the tissue to grieve. I can't help but wonder, will there ever be a day when my daddy is not the 1st thought when I open my eyes, or the last when I close them. Every aspect of my life has changed, and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to "move on". I think we need to respect the loss, life, and love our parents gave, and begin a new "part" of our lives, when WE are ready, not according to someone else's "stages" of grief, or "appropriate" mourning time. For those of us that have lost a parent, we are the only people who can be empathetic towards each other, because we share a common heartache. If you ever need to talk, yell, scream, or even laugh, just message me..I'll be here.