I am so sorry for both of your losses. I do believe time does heal,but our hearts ache for our loved ones. My dad was ill on/off for past couple of yrs,but nothing terminal. He was admitted on Nov19,2009 because he was suffering with weakness from chronic diarreah(ulcerative colitis) .He had had a hernia operation back in Aug and it turned out he got a bacterial infection(c_diff).The diarreah never stopped from then and we thought it was from the colitis.His blood sugar and pressure continued to drastically fluctuate and he ended up with a blood clot. He was bedridden these past 2 months till his body could not take anymore and he went to be with the Lord on January 18,2010.It still does not seem real to even admit it even though we struggled through our pain and tears at the funeral.I feel like I am going in waves,up and down.I miss my dad who was a wonderful father to 5,husband of 55yrs and grandfather to 12.I hurt for my mom .He was a loyal,loving man who will be truly missed.Sebastian"ben" Furnari Nov.2,1925-Jan18,2010.
First off I would like to say how sorry I feel for the loss of your parent or parents. I know the pain this causes since I lost my father on Dec. 8, 2009.
Although I also lost my 2 month old son 27 yrs. ago this Mar. 5.
Since 2009 started I had a feeling dad was leaving us that year. My sister sent me a pic of dad and mom with their new years hats, when I opened mssg. to see it dad had a skull over his face. I closed my phone and the took another look at pic it was normal. About 2 months later my sister took another pic of dad he came out transparent, we could see through him. Also everytime I gave him a kiss to say hi and to say bye, I felt a tiny pain in my heart and a saddness I couldn't explain. What I did do was cherish every moment he gave me even his gruachy moods from then on.
Moving on to Dec. 4. I had a dream, it wasn't a bad dream. I got up and was having coffee when I hubby's niece got up and asked why I was up early. I said to her that someone was going to leave this world. I really didn't think it was dad, he had survived colon cancer in 2008. Mom was in worse health towards the end of 2009.
On sunday night the 6th I felt a heaviness in my chest. I had trouble breathing, while one of my sisters was feeling that heaviness and wanting to cry not knowing why. I was in Mexico, (she was here at home.) On monday I came home when I got here dad was in ER. Tuesday I was at hospital visiting him and left him happy at 4:30pm. I got called back by my sister saying dad went into cardic arrest. He was put in ICU after having still another episode, lasting half hour each. Then mom, my brothers,sisters and I decided on more bringing him back if it happens again, this was a hard decision to make.
I was staying the night with him, mom had dialysis the following morning. I had just gone in when I felt like talking to him. I kissed his forehead then held his hand and told him it was ok if he wanted to leave as soon as I said that his moniter started beeping. The doctor came in and said he's gone. Dec.8, 10:08pm is forever in my memory. We were allowed to be there till funeral home picked him up at about 3am. I spent all this time sitting with him on his bed holding his hand. I believe this is what has given me some peace, though I still feel the pain of losing him.
What worries me is my little sister who took pics, she has taken it hard. She is not caring about herself, she has health problems on top she has this pain of losing dad. I want to help her before she goes more into depression.
This site has a way to help us even if it's just to put our thoughts down and hear how others have beared this or perhaps help others beare their pain.
EVERYONE, MEMORIES OF A LOVED ONE IS A WAY OF KEEPPING THEM WITH US. THEY WOULD WANT US TO REMEMBER THEM WITH HAPPINESS NOT SADNESS. Dad said once "When I go I want you all to be happy I will be in a better place."
LOVE YOU ALWAYS DAD
JOSE ORNELAS SOTELO
JUNE 18, 1944
DEC. 8, 2009