I appreciate you sharing with me. My partner and I too were just getting ready for a life of retirement. I've decided to go ahead and retire at the end of the year. Not sure how I'll handle that being alone now. I try to keep busy with TV, reading and work. Sometimes nothing helps but I guess you know that. I hope this site helps. The responds I've gotten have helped so I think it will. You take care of yourself and I will too. We have to for THEM.
Thanks Erick for your words, last 2 days have been really bad, yesterday I made reservations to go on vacation with my sister, she lives with us since our parents passed away in 2010 & 2012, she was never married and I am thankful I have her in my life to accompany me everywhere, I guess I am very lucky that way, my husband Pablo was always the one who made all vacation plans & reservations to needless to say, I cried thru the whole process, & today I went back to the mall for the 1st time since he passed, thank God both my sister & youngest son were with me, had to contain my tears all the way thru the mall, I actually bought sandals in his honor, I am a boot & sandal freak & whenever I would go to buy a pair he would say not another one & I would laugh & he would say I thought u say u were not going to buy anymore sandals, so I know he is smiling from heaven but I want him here, not there, the more days go by the more I miss him, I don't blame for your tears & who cared what people or family think, this is how u feel & nobody will take that away from you, many people tell me to go to a therapist & u know what, not a therapist or a psychologist or even a psychiatrist is gonna tell me how I should feel or mourn over the death of the love of my life, it was 40 years together what is it that some people can't understand about that, I cry every single time I remember that I will no longer be making any memories with him & we are approaching a very important event in my family's life, my youngest son is getting married in July & he wanted so much to be there & all the decisions that we both would have had to make together I had to make by myself, do u know how hard that was?
I am so sorry about your loss & any time I can be of some help, please do not hesitate, I think talking about it with other people that are going thru the same situation helps somewhat at times.
Thank again for your kind words, u are right it is better to have loved & lost then not to have loved, unfortunately in my case & I am sure in yours we were not ready for their passing so soon, we expected to retire together & enjoy life & that will no longer be the case, life is just not fair.