My husband and I got married in 1994 October, we have two children and love both animals. He is my love of my live. We felt that we grew as a couple and I have to say that there is always going to be a bond that I can not desribe in any kind of words. I totally trust him and he does me but I failed. I failed because he passed away on the Ferbuary 2010.

The last couple of years were the most difficult I have experinced. Since our son Lee start walking there was something wrong with his walking and I had to fight around ten years to find out he had a bone growth (bone tumor, benign) in his upper right joint leg (size of a grapfruit). We both pushed to get him seen and he got a place in Oxford (Oxford is not that good is just hipe, total snops), the Surgeon was ok and done his best and our son Lee started healing. Sadly he got an infection (registrar a total twatt) so this brought stress to my husband more than I anticipated. I blieve that gave him a real fright and headache. Anyway, this got sorted out after nearly, well all of my sons live, around 8 years. This only took so long because the NHS and the english Dr seem to think they know best before a mother. I was brought up in Germany and I met good and bad but here UK is something else.

Also our neighbours are real friendly 'scum', they love to harden their children (dogs are not allowed to be aggresive so why are the children so dam evil). My neighbours pretend to care but the fact is they have a sad live. I can not be bothered to be nosey as I have more important issues. I am not a snop but I think that I have problems on my own to snop around others. I just want to be good and friendly, and I can not or will be pulled in idyle gossip. I have stoped talking to them. The children here play football regardless of respecting other peoples properties and the parents are lazy to do something and guess what instead to take them to playground they go to weight watchers. I just do not understand this world. Why have children?

LUNG CANCER HAS TO BE HEARD!

My problem is that I still believe that my Fernando that is journey could have been avoided or even survived longer but in the eyes of the oncologist (most of them medical bible bashers) and Cancer Research UK(support the PINK ribbion and fails to see the other colours the wider picture) as they support the Dr instead to fight for the patient. The MacMillian nurse suppose to be on the patients side but the fact they are not they just re-inforce the Dr orders. Sadly the Uk medical physicans have lost their way by selling their patients to big pharma and their precious reputations. The fact is that the Dr and Oncologist run a business. God for bid! Sorry if I offended someone but I think that the medical establishment put most Dr the idea that they are! My husband got refused treatment and then when I asked for a second opinion i got ranked! The Royal Marsden did not want to upset Oxford churchill (snob) oncologist twatt. The first oncologist called, funny name but he does scare me his face 'Gildersleeve", please stay away from him! Also his 'good friend' Dr Lisner. She holded my husbands hands and told him she could help him die nicely ( I should have offered the same choice).

I will stop now because I think this is to much for anyone.

Lung Cancer is so overlooked and the thing is that it is killing so many so fast!

I love to give each and everyone who has fought against this disease with the loved ones a big hug!

H