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We are all in God's hands and a part of his plans.

My wife and I went through thick and thin during our 32 years together.
Her last 5 years or so were not that pleasant for her and the last year it was pure hell for her so in that respect I think she is in a much better place.
I always consider her to be with me and as my advocate.
She passed into Gods hands silently during the night at our home and when I went to wake her up she was almost cold but still I could feel some warmth. I knew she was gone but I tried and tried to bring her back through CPR. She had gone into a diabetic coma just weeks prior to her death and not only could the EMTs not bring her back but the hospital couldn't either. I stayed by her bedside and about a day later she just woke up and didn't remember a thing.
I was always somewhat of a recluse but since she passed to God I only go to work and make any trips I have to during the drive to and from work, I am totally reclusive now.
I am very fortunate that the people (up to the Administration) helped during our battle to keep her alive and they don't make fun of me when I cry at work, although I try to keep that at my desk and not public.

I promised her that I would be buried with her so I don't look for another "better half". Since it was so costly during her illness I have been giving her gifts as donations to charities.

I don't know about the rest of you or if this is normal but I get very depressed if I can't go to her grave to replace the flowers at regular intervals.

I was spiritual before but much more so after Rose passed into Gods hands. Our son and daughter in law had their first baby only 3 months after she passed and she was so looking forward to being a Grandmother so she could spoil the kids (they have 2 now).

I love and miss my wife so much and it doesn't take much to get the tears flowing but I know she is with me all of the time and I have left everything the way she left it, including all of her medical equipment.

I don't know if that is normal and one Psychologist suggested that I may have PTSD due to the way I found her and tried to bring her back to life. I could not believe she was gone until the EMTs told me and it has been a surreal life ever since.

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Sorry, the 4th anniversary of my Mother is January 18th

Posted on January 12, 2012 at 9:37pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

Oh sorry About that, the 4th anniversary of my Mother is January 18th. She passed 6 months after my wife.
(the Rock of my life since my father died when I was 7 and was disabled after a major stroke when I was 2)

Six months after my Soulmate Passed, My Mother did too

Posted on January 12, 2012 at 9:32pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

Rose, it's almost the anniversary of Moms passing into Gods Hands and although you were sniped at for driving slow and weaving (she wasn't supposed to be driving) I and Mom appreciate you visiting her after her cognitive damage after her Epidural Hematoma.

When my mother had a fall and was taking blood thinners for prior strokes when she went to the North Central Baptist Hospital in San Antonio they triaged her and sent into the waiting room...3 hours later my mother said her last…

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After 4 Years It has only gotten marginally better, it's really like the same day Rose passed to God....

Posted on July 24, 2011 at 7:45pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

I just want to say to those that have been in mourning for a while that I have been diagnosed with a psychological condition (as well as neuro problems) that essentially disconnects me from the outside world. Sure I have neighborhood friends (one even has a key to my house just in case they don't see me for a while) but other than that my "Mr. Wonderful" (my nick-name at…

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I feel I will be joining my wife soon...

Posted on August 9, 2010 at 6:30am 1 Comment 0 Likes

This is a bad month for us as her birthday is tomorrow and our anniversary is the 29th.

Rose passed to God's hands May 31st, 2007 sometime between midnight and about 3:00 or 4:00 in the early morning in her sleep. She had been ill and progressively getting worse so maybe it was Gods way of relieving her of her pain.

I have multiple medical issues as well but they were mostly under control. In the last year my neurological issues have been geeting to the point that I had…

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At 10:40am on August 31, 2013, MEG Amelia said…: Hope you are ding well friend! God Bless You!

At 8:41pm on July 24, 2011, Marsha H said…: Dear Fred ...

Thank you so much for asking me to be your friend. I am so sorry about your beloved wife and know how you feel as my beloved Ernie passed April 27, 2011 of pancreatic/liver cancer. I know how it feels to go through a long illness with your loved one and feel so useless and not in control. Have faith in the fact that your sweetheart knew how much you were there for her and she will always love you for your strength; love and loyalty. She is close to you in spirit so try not to give up because she would not want you too. I know my Ernie would want me to go on and he made me promise him that before he died. Nothing makes much sense to me either and it seems one can have lead on our feet just getting through ever second of every day. My neighbors also have a key to my home and I have to say I am blessed with friends, but at the present moment I find it difficult to have a conversation with them because once being an extroverted person I am still in that pit of grief where nothing seems positive to me at the present time. I have been having problems not eating at all; losing weight to the point I am seeing my doctor, but have little faith much will help. I am still trying and seeing a grief counselor which really helps as I have bumped into so many widows especially, but a couple of widowers. Grieving saps so much strength out of us all, but look around this forum and see how many survivors there are. I find it difficult not to think of joining my husband (pining away) but then I remember that promise to him so whatever it takes I'm giving it my best shot and I hope you find the strength to do so too. I just can't concentrate much lately and find it difficult navigating this forum and I don't mean not to reply to people, but don't know how to chat; get my Yahoo account right now so if you would like to keep in touch and just talk please email me at: Maday1@shaw.ca

A big hug

Marcy

At 11:16pm on April 29, 2011, Chicago Beard said…: Hi Fred. I understand. I thought it was closer. Maybe another time as I would like to see the Alamo someday (and not the rental car company,LOL). Hang in there as best you can and feel free to write me anytime.

At 11:16pm on April 29, 2011, Chicago Beard said…: Hi Fred. I understand. I thought it was closer. Maybe another time as I would like to see the Alamo someday (and not the rental car company,LOL). Hang in there as best you can and feel free to write me anytime.

At 11:16pm on April 29, 2011, Chicago Beard said…: Hi Fred. I understand. I thought it was closer. Maybe another time as I would like to see the Alamo someday (and not the rental car company,LOL). Hang in there as best you can and feel free to write me anytime.

At 3:09pm on April 28, 2011, Chicago Beard said…: Hi Fred

In October I will be in Houston for a wedding which I understand is not far deom San Antonio. If you are up to it and willing I would like to get together for coffee and so we can both cry in our and. Let me know.

At 3:09pm on April 28, 2011, Chicago Beard said…: Hi Fred

In October I will be in Houston for a wedding which I understand is not far deom San Antonio. If you are up to it and willing I would like to get together for coffee and so we can both cry in our and. Let me know.

At 3:06pm on April 28, 2011, Chicago Beard said…: Hi Fred

I will be in San Antonio in Octoberfor a wedding. If your able and agreeable I would like to meet for coffee and so we can sit there and cry in our and.

At 11:37am on April 27, 2011, Jerry said…: Hi Fred,as far as the Dr's finding it strange your wearing the wedding ring after you wife has passed on, thats just his opinion, doesnt mean he is right. I never wore my ring much during all our years together,mainly due to my job. I would wear it when we went out and I got dressed up in a suit. My wife always commented that my ring looked new and hers was worn.As far as I am concered I think it is the right thing to due for you. I have been thinking of having our rings joined by a jewler and I can wear them on a chain around my neck.

At 11:37am on April 27, 2011, Jerry said…: Hi Fred,as far as the Dr's finding it strange your wearing the wedding ring after you wife has passed on, thats just his opinion, doesnt mean he is right. I never wore my ring much during all our years together,mainly due to my job. I would wear it when we went out and I got dressed up in a suit. My wife always commented that my ring looked new and hers was worn.As far as I am concered I think it is the right thing to due for you. I have been thinking of having our rings joined by a jewler and I can wear them on a chain around my neck.