Thank you very much for your kind words Freda. I do hope that one day I can find peace with my best friend's passing, instead of the raw anger and total grief I feel now.  It does not help that the circumstances surrounding it all are just abysmal and in truth, I do feel that that is stopping me from grieving her fully. So many times I have wanted to connect with her, to get her advice on how to overcome this situation. 

It's now been 2 months and 7 days and yet, the emotion I feel has not dulled in any way. 
the fact that her children will not know the amazing person their mother was personally, just deadens me inside. 
THank you again for your lovely words. x