George, so insightful. I do understand what you are saying. It is as if everyone is in such a hurry to forget and just assume you will too. I am coming up on a year and I can look back and see that my acceptance level has changed but I am no where near considering a new man or life. I told someone I was still "in love" with my husband and I am. They looked at me strangely. Do people think that love dies when the person does?
The comparing of father and mother is truly not the same although it hurts badly, I think we start accepting that loss as we start seeing them aging. I lost Mom less than a year earlier and that was a major loss also. She was a rock and so wise. One day I was having a melt down and thought I would talk to Mom and got worse when I realized I couldn't even do that! The loss of my husband was more than the loss of your mate, it was the loss of so many things that we loved and called "home". suep