"Thinking of everyone here today...as its national widows day....
Been having a hard time seeing the posts on my phone, and haven't had time to go online to really catch-up. Hope everyone is doing their best.
Hugs to you all!"
"Thanks Marsha, Chuck, & Mary Jane!
Mary Jane - I actually have two tshirt quilts I had gotten made from Paul's shirts. One was his "work" shirts - some button down ones he always wore to work and also tshirts from different shows…"
"Cheers to everyone here! I try not to drink while I cook (things just don't turn out right when I do that!) so finally poured my wine after getting the lasagna in the oven. Been so long since I've made it that I forgot how long it takes.…"
"Thanks for that Marsha. It's definitely harder getting out of bed today, but things must get done.
Planning on making a lasagna and cracking open a bottle of wine tonight in Paul's memory. Our first valentines together I had gone to his…"
"Hey Gretchen. Weekends are usually pretty good for me. The last two weekends in April I will be busy with my band. The last weekend we will be performing at a Renaissance Fair in Escondido. Definitely looking forward to meeting you and some others…"
"I went to this lantern festival outside of Las Vegas last year and it was one of the most moving experiences I've ever had in my life and highly recommend doing something like this if you can. So happy to hear they are doing it again this…"
I know the feeling! And I'll be celebrating my birthday (the third one without Paul) the day after. I always use to make my own party plans (Paul never really was the party planning type) but it's just not the same anymore. A…"
"Hi Chicago! Ethan's a good little traveler, so we can drive wherever. I'll start looking at dates to see if we can maybe work something out with others in the area - maybe sometime in April? My schedule is limited to…"
Hope all is well with everyone here.
Been keeping myself (&Ethan) busy so far this year. Wanted to share a pic from our latest trip to the mountains - me to snowboard and for Ethan to get use to the snow and…"
I know the feeling about it not being enough time. Paul and I were married for 5 years, but had been together for about 12 years. And he only got to hold our son for two weeks before he passed. Breaks my heart watching…"
Hey Gretchen. Weekends are usually pretty good for me. The last two weekends in April I will be busy with my band. The last weekend we will be performing at a Renaissance Fair in Escondido. Definitely looking forward to meeting you and some others from our group.
you have been in my thoughts and prayers since I heard of all your recent losses. Then the fact of your friend taking her own life touched something in me so deeply - as I mentioned, my very dear friend Kim took his life in 1999 - I was beside myself with guilt and grief for weeks. Larry sat me down and told me he didn't want to see me make myself sick over this, but didn't know how to help me. He was incredibly sensitive to my feelings - Kim had been the first boy I had ever loved, and we were lovers for a time until he decided he wasn't truly gay, he just loved me and wanted to make me happy. Real soap-opera stuff, but we remained closest of friends while I did my best to hide my lifelong love for him. Larry was aware of all this, so encouraged me to do something - anything - to process my feelings. I ended up making a memorial video for Kim, and the work of choosing photos, movies, and music helped me more than I could have believed. I know you did something similar for Paul with the scrapbook you had friends gather to assemble for your son - a lovely tribute as well as a gift to your son he will treasure and be grateful for.
I just say all this to tell you I know this special kind of loss can be especially devastating because of one's thinking it could have been prevented, maybe even by yourself. Please, dear friend, do not let yourself fall into that trap - it is quicksand and will swallow you if you let it. As I thought of you last night, one thought came to my mind, so I'll stop with this thought for you... God knows you have to be strong and brave for your young son, and does not let these things into your life to harm you - but rather to temper you, the way a steel blade is tempered in fire, making it strong and unbreakable. Thus you will be able to face any adversity thrown at you with the knowledge that within you is the heart of a lion.
Much love to you and your dear son, and please tell me if there is ever anything that I can possibly do for you as you continue to move forward on your path - I am so very proud of you dear Gretchen!