How are you? Noone will ever take you mom's place and you are right. They wouldn't want us to be sad and hold thir spirit back. Right bef my mom passed, I told her to soar high and fast and not look back or think she had to stick around to comfort us. But I have kept little things as keapasakes and take a moment here and there to speak to her and tell her how much I love her.
I really respect that you were willing to take one sec of her pain away. I felt exactly the same way. And she knew it, she told me.
God Bless you and Oct 30 is very soon. I can tell you fro my exp, it's like 1 step forward and then 2 steps backward but then you move forward again.
I am lost too. sleepim erratically and it's as of my mom who was my best friend left the door open, not that I want to die buy I am hating being here with mean hateful ppl in compariosn to my sweet mother.
I want her to ascend frrrly without thinking that she has to comfort me buyt I sure need comforting and don't know here to get it. I feel so hopless and empty and lost. My prayer is to be made whole again.
My heart goes out to you. I was made power of ttorney and was staing w/my mom for 3 mos whe she passed and here what I id. Removed all distarctions, tv, imternet, lit a candle near her pics and let her intuiitively guide me to who she wanted what to have and what to write in the note as a sort of thank you from her for any kindness shown her. And that started the whole thng. By the end it went to who needed it most eg, glsses for the blind, clothes and shoes for a Battered Woman's shelter, and any tiny momento that caught my eye, i put in a lil box for myself....like a pin or something.
I let the mean realtions have the souless functional stuff like lamps, tvs, vacuums, etc./ And pray to her asking for guidance.
everyone who loses their mother goes thru this i just lost mine october 30 2009 and im not very nice right now .but i did find i need to be and i did find everything happens for a reason .the way i get thru everyday is to think by me being upset i am holding her here .one of the articles i read says we must let go so the spirit is free to live in heaven and can go see family that has passed before them and it also says if we are too bound here on earth with grief the spirit stays and is tormented further with worry as we greive .
my mother will always be my best friend and no one will ever mean so much to me but if i can take one second of pain or hurt from her i would do whatever i could so if it means holding it in and trying to find foregivness and trying to not just be dark and lost then i will do it .maybe its evil that makes us feel this way lost and alone because the friars say we are never alone and that our family when passes are still here with us so maybe its just selfish for me to be that way...im not sure im doing a whole lot of soul searching not just for hers for mine too godbless you all and just remember knowledge is power read and see what you think is true