• Detroit, MI
  • United States
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  • Melissa Asher
  • donna smith
  • Garry
  • Chelle


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Our Daughter, Natasha

Our daughter, Natasha, thirty years old, never ill, a college graduate, a wonderful daughter and human being. Employed, with lousy company health insurance died, suddenly on May 20, 2010. Natasha, was refused medical service by a few "good" doctors. They would not accept her medical insurance. Natasha, had a Urinary Tract Infection, it was diagnose in the emergency room. They prescribed cippro an antibiotic, to be taken for seven days. She was to report to the clinic for follow-up care within three days. We called the clinic at the same hospital and they would not accept her insurance. Seven days later she was back in the ER. Five days later she was dead. A lot happen during her stay, in which we were trying desperately to have her removed from that medical facility. She was to be air lifted to another medical facility the day after she died.

Natasha was overweight. She had never been ill. We had attempted to buy additional insurance for her to supplement the insurance supplied by her job. She was refused medical coverage, because of a pre condiction illness, obesity. She didn't have high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholestral , nothing. She was very active.

Natasha was our only child. The night she died, at 1:06 am, she died alone. I had left the hospital between 11:45 P.M. and 12:15 a.m. Jay Leno was on when I got home. She was not in distress, nor had anyone told her father and I that death was imminent, per her medical report. I never would have left my baby. We received a telephone call,approximatly 45 minutes after I got home, telling us to come to the hospital, because Natasha was very ill. The staff admitted us into the ICU area, allowing us to go to her room. We were told by one of the nurses, very rudly that she was dead. We found our daughter lying half out of the bed, her head had swollen to twice the normal size, and her eyes were filled with a yellowish fluid. The nurses or staff treated us badly. I fainted, they would not treat me, instead they called three armed security guards to escort us out of her room. My husband said a chaplain spoke with him while he was allowed to gather Natasha's personal items. He found me outside the hospital in a chair,where the security staff left me, still in shock, sitting by myself.

There is such guilt, sorrow and wishful thinking. Natasha should not have died from what they diagnose. We believe she was denied treatment that could have saved her life, because of her insurance coverage. They lied in the medical records, we order an autopsy, we were told it would be approximately 13 pages. They sent a report to our attorney totaling over 600 pages. We don't know what killed our daughter. I tell myself that her dying naturally would be easier. I don't know that we could survive, knowing that they mistreated her due to incompetence or because of her size. I tell people now, not to leave their love one alone in ICU. The doctors couldn't tell us what was causing the infection, they were treating her blindly with antibiotics, hoping one would work, instead of looking at other symptons. I know now, that she did not receive the care that others receive with some of the same medical problems.

It is almost five months, I still need medical drugs, to get through the day and nights. I miss her so much. The pain is different, prayer help, but breathing is still hard.

Her dog, just started to go back into her room. The other dog walks through quickly, but want stay. They slept in the rooms. I don't see tear traces on Chase's face, but he is still lost without her. So are we.
The death of another's child has a different meaning to me. It is no longer enough to say I'm sorry. Their pain is my pain. How do you survive, this?


2 1/2 year survival

Posted on October 17, 2012 at 9:34am 0 Comments

Almost three years, since Natasha died. Understanding life, and the loss there of is still and unknown force.

However, for those who are in the throes of grief. You will reach a time where you will laugh, if only at a memory, cry, knowing that you were blessed with one of God's greatest gift, and you will thank him. Where you come to terms with one of the facts of living, is that we will die. And when you ask, why your love one. A glimmer of understanding, will help you to survive,… Continue

My Daughter, My Life

Posted on November 8, 2010 at 3:43pm 5 Comments

I read last night that you have to learn to say Goodbye. It sadden me deeply, caused insane panic. I don't want to say goodbye. She was my life. I see her everywhere, I keep waiting to feel her spirit. I want to hold her in my arms. I think of the loss, no grandchildren. Evertything we did, it was done with the belief that she would be here, after we were gone.

On mother's day she was feeling not well. She was trying to make my breakfast; she made the best pancakes and her own…


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At 6:27pm on May 16, 2011, Warren Washington said…
Death is such a hard pill to swallow I know from personal experiences. I would like to share with you what I found out about the dead and what happens to us when we die and hope for our dead love ones.The dead are shown to be “conscious of nothing at all” and the death state to be one of complete inactivity. (Ec 9:5, 10; Ps 146:4) Those dying are described as going into “the dust of death” (Ps 22:15), becoming “impotent in death.” (Pr 2:18; Isa 26:14) I'm hoping you this helps you find comfort in your lost as I have please feel free to ask any question you may have and I'll be more then happy to share with you what I know. Take care. In both the Hebrew and the Greek Scriptures, death is likened to sleep, a fitting comparison not only because of the unconscious condition of the dead but also because of the hope of an awakening through the resurrection. (Ps 13:3; Joh 11:11-14) The resurrected Jesus is spoken of as “the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep in death.”—1Co 15:20, 21
At 2:26pm on February 10, 2011, Chelle said…

Dear Miss Barnes, my goodness, my deepest condolences for your loss and the state in which your daughter died. The bible reassures you do not need to say goodbye to your daughter, she is merely sleeping in death ( 1 Thessalonians 11:13,14) It is painful while she is not with you enjoying life however you will be reunited shortly. And certainly not back to a life in this type of world with hatred and injustice, but a world where "wicked will be no more" and "the meek ones themselves will posses the earth and find their exquisite delight in the abundance of peace."  I hope you have been comforted by the words. And i will keep you in my prayers Miss Joann

At 11:13pm on November 22, 2010, Melissa Asher said…
Hi Joann,

my name is Melissa Asher I lost my daughter to a freak accident, I am glad you are putting that out there about septic shock, Donna Smith is having a hard time and her daughter also died of that maybe you should speak to her, my daughter slip in a tub bump her head and drowned at the age of 18 she would be 21, you do not need to say good bye to your daughter, she is gone in flesh but we will see her again, I don't know if you believe in GOD but if it was not for him i would have lost it, and my new husband, your daughter is still your life you just have to live twice as hard she would want you to enjoy every minute of every day, and that is the hardest thing to do cause i hardly can but i take minute by minute, day by day, please if you want to talk i am here, your daughter is so beautiful, I knew nothing of stepic shock till I got on this site, everyone need to know about it, your daughter may save many lives thru you!!!
At 4:22pm on October 8, 2010, lashonya wright said…
Hi Joann, I lost my only child Tariq this year on June 16, 2010. He was 14 years old and he too was over weight. He complained that he was getting a cold and died the day before he was scheduled to see his doctor. I don't know how we are to survive this but I can truly say...I understand your pain and you are not alone.

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